tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21732219457790741312024-03-13T14:07:20.844-07:00For the Love of JoyA blog for friends and family of Joy.Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-8642069125550598162014-05-01T18:38:00.002-07:002014-05-01T18:38:54.483-07:00Dear friends and family: this post will contain mostly pictures of Joy. She's doing fine. Our next-door neighbors Martin and Mary had a baby a month or so ago and they came for a visit on their first anniversary, April 24th. Joy and I had gone to their wedding last year which was held in their yard. <br />
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Joy just loved seeing the baby. The following are picture of Joy interacting with their baby girl Harper on the day they visited: <br />
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As you can tell, she was thrilled with seeing the baby. Her love of children remains as strong as it ever was. The smile never left her face. <br />
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Love to you all, <br />
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Doug and Joy Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-61230154680222777272014-04-12T21:36:00.000-07:002014-04-12T21:59:30.842-07:00At Long LastHello to friends and family who might still be checking this blog on occasion. As you can tell I'm not a devoted week in/week out blogger. But I will try and pick up the pace some in the future.<br />
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We meandered through the winter and are now having a lovely spring. <br />
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Since her shunt was replaced in September, Joy's health has been good considering all she has been through. The only difficulty is a somewhat gnarled foot that is due to muscles on one side of ankle and leg being more paralyzed than those on the other side. This causes her foot to twist under a bit and her toes to bunch up. Her middle toe sticks up some and rubs against her shoe. This caused a bunion which we had removed last week. It happened gradually and we finally realized that it seemed to be bothering her quite a bit. We are working on getting shoes for her that will not cause that problem again. Because spring has sprung and the weather is beginning to warm, she can now wear open-toed shoes regularly. She seems much more comfortable since she's been treated. <br />
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There is little change in her ability to do tasks. The best way to describe it is to say she can help somewhat in rinsing and putting the dishes in the dishwasher, but she would be unable to prepare any kind of meal for herself. We still worry when she's around a hot stove. She remains dependent on her nurses for basic hygiene and just getting around. She walks regularly and eats well. In general, I would say she's healthier than she's ever been since the stroke occurred in January, 2011. She's smiling more all the time and looks beautiful which is not only due to her natural beauty but to the the ladies who care for her. When they dress her, put on her make-up and jewelry, she always looks lovely. <br />
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We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary on Wednesday April 9th. I remember the fun we had planning our wedding back in early 1994. When it came to picking the date, I chose 4/9/94, since it would be easy for me to remember. Joy agreed and we forged ahead. She made most of the arrangements. It was the first and only wedding for both of us. I had just turned 46 and she was 42. We chartered a boat and with fifty of our best friends cruised out on San Francisco Bay toward Angel Island. The island had been the location of the immigration processing center for San Francisco in the 19th and early 20th century. It's now a state park and a great place to hike. It's about a mile north of Alcatraz Island and is many times larger than "The Rock." <br />
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We decided to be married near the island because it was the location of our first date. We had taken a ferry out there and hiked the island on June 3rd, 1991. Joy and I had met at a wedding of our friends Larry and Esther on May 5th (Cinquo de Mayo) of that year in San Francisco. She was living in L. A. and I was in Oakland. She flew up for that weekend in June. We still have a photo of us (that Joy set up and took with her automatically-timed shutter) sitting among the branches of a huge coastal live oak tree. <br />
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Sailing on our wedding day out to Angel Island from Alameda in our chartered 60' motor yacht, we hit some rough water due to strong westerly winds blowing in through the Golden Gate. There were white caps all across the bay. So the Captain of the motor yacht determined that we could take shelter in a little cove behind the island on the east side and hold the ceremony there. It was still a little rough and I remember Joy walking down the aisle with bouquet in hand being knocked slightly off balance by a small wave that rocked the boat. Later in the day, the wind subsided and the bay calmed which made the sailing back delightful. It was a wonderful day, no one got seasick, and many of our friends said it was the best wedding ever. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Afterward, we took off for four days at Waikiki and then a six more out on the end of the archipelago at Kauai. I'd never been to Hawaii before and I was stunned by how beautiful it was. My initial reaction was, "This is the United States? What a country!"<br />
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We went out to a Chinese Restaurant for our 20th anniversary with the Kilker sisters, Sue Thomas and Mary Anne Schetter. Sue is Joy's head nurse and has been a gift from above to us ever since we brought Joy home in May of 2011. Here is a photo of Joy and Sue taken on that evening:<br />
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Joy can eat by herself, but it can take hours for her to get through a meal, so at times it's tidier and more efficient for her nurses to feed her.<br />
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These are not very good pictures of Joy on our special occasion but they are all I've got. Most of the time she was smiling broadly and fully enjoying herself. She still loves to go out on the town.<br />
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We are doing some remodeling on the house. We ended up with a 1 bedroom house due to changes Joy made during construction. But we are considering selling the place now and to get a decent price for the house it needs to have three bedrooms. We will probably move to Texas within a year or two. In Texas we can buy two homes of similar quality for what we should get for this one. So I've walled off the east end of the house opposite the kitchen and cut a doorway in through where the coat closet was. That will be the second bedroom and Joy's old office will be the third. The second bedroom was in the original floor plan before the house was built, but Joy decided she liked to have the space open with the morning sun coming in the wall of windows at the east end of the house, so we eliminated a partition wall temporarily. Now we are back to the original plan. Those of you who stayed here over the past 8 years (yes, we've been in the house for that long) might remember the lack of privacy in our guest accommodations, but I hope we made you comfortable despite that. <br />
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Here's a picture of the new second bedroom under construction: <br />
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I had enough materials around that I only had to buy sheetrock and some gun nails. Sue's brother John Kilker donated his expertise and masterfully re-wired everything. I will have to buy an entry door for this bedroom and hire someone to finish the drywall, since it requires a special kind of texture to match the rest of the house, but I'm doing the rest of the work myself. <br />
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On Washington's birthday, I was persuaded by my friend Phil Burke who lives in the neighborhood to climb the mountain to the east of us. I've always looked up at the mountain and longed to climb it. I'm not in the best shape these days but we made it to the top and back down in about five hours. The picture below was taken about two-thirds of the way up and shows the view to the southwest. If the fog was not out there in the distance, you would be able to see the ocean: <br />
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Here's a picture of the oak trees in the meadow at the top of the mountain (elevation around 4000 ft) :<br />
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I hope all is well with all of you and that you are enjoying life to the fullest. We continue to adapt and are content. I look forward to some excitement and new beginnings if and when we move to Texas within the next year or two. We will keep you posted.<br />
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Love,<br />
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Doug and Joy Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-57825160083933905772013-09-29T19:50:00.000-07:002013-09-29T19:50:41.927-07:00Yet Another . . . Dear friends and family:<br />
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Joy had to undergo surgery once again on Friday, September 27th. It was discovered through tests conducted in the preceding weeks that her shunt was not performing up to par and that her ventricles had become slightly enlarged from a build-up of spinal fluid as a result. In fact it was determined that the shunt was not working at all, which in a sense was good news because it suggested that as the shunt gradually shut down from blockage that Joy was processing some of her spinal fluid on her own and transferring it to her abdomen where it is supposed to go. <br />
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We've become veterans of surgical procedures and yet it's always nerve-wracking. Joy handled it with her customary ease and grace. I was a little more emotional since it brought back some of the bad memories of the early days of this ordeal, but the fact that Dr. Sanchez was again in charge of the procedure put my mind at ease. He was not sure what he would find and his initial explanation was along the lines of a worst-case scenario, namely that if the tube coming out of the interior of Joy's brain was blocked, he would be drilling through her skull plate and installing another tube in the top of her head. This was more complicated than I had anticipated, but I trust Dr. Sanchez and know he will always do the right thing. <br />
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A shunt is a pump apparatus that is installed behind the ear. A tube connected to it runs from the valve to the interior of the brain. Another tube runs from the valve down through the body to the abdomen and transfers the spinal fluid there from the brain. Some of Joy's early problems in the first months of 2011 were due to the inability of her doctors at Loma Linda to install a shunt that performed properly. They installed two shunts at different times, neither of which worked. My personal opinion is that they rushed the process, that they should have been aggressively removing the fluid that was building up in her ventricles by whatever means necessary, but they failed to do that. When we got her to Scripps Green in the care of Dr. Sanchez, a drip line was inserted that removed the fluid that had built up in her ventricles and was exerting pressure against the inside walls of her brain. It was a gradual process. After three weeks, once Dr. Sanchez determined that her ventricles had returned to normal size, he installed a new shunt. That shunt worked well for a year and probably longer. But over the past year, those of us who care for Joy noticed that her general condition seemed to be declining slightly. She slept more and was not trying to communicate as much. Walking and retaining her balance seemed a little more difficult for her. The changes were barely noticeable, but we all agreed they had occurred. <br />
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The surgery went well. Dr. Sanchez discovered that only the valve had clogged and did not therefore have to replace the tube to the inside of her brain. He replaced the valve in the shunt with a new and improved version that was not available in February of 2011 when he installed the last one. It is apparently easier to adjust the flow rate on this new device. He also opened up a small hole in her abdomen to check the other end of that tube. Everything is now working the way it is supposed to. This was the fourth shunt installation or replacement that Joy has undergone and we hope it will be the last.<br />
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She came home Saturday afternoon after spending the night in the hospital. She has several staples in the skin behind the ear and a few more in her stomach. She was smiling all day Saturday, but today, Sunday, we could tell she's having some discomfort. She will visit the doctor later in the week to have the incisions examined and have a CT scan to see if her ventricles have shrunk any. <br />
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We hope the new shunt will result in improvement in both her physical and cognitive abilities.<br />
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Joy had a birthday on August 13th. She and nurse Natalie and I went out to dinner at a huge sushi restaurant named Shogun and Joy, who loves sushi, ate like a horse:</div>
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Then we came back to the house and celebrated with Sister Susan and Paul. Susan baked the world's largest cupcake and Joy was delighted by it. She couldn't stop smiling:<br />
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In June, we had a visit from our friends Gary and Lynn Jensen Nagle who we visited at their vacation home in Costa Rica in 2007. It's always good to see them. I've known Gary since high school and Lynn since she met Gary in college. They have kept in touch and have been very supportive during the most difficult times. Joy's friends from work, Cyndy Smith and Georgia Schweitzer, also visited shortly after Joy's birthday. They have been regular visitors and fill the house with laughter when they come. We appreciate any and all visitors, so if any of you are in the area, give us a call and stop by. <br />
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Love to you all,<br />
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Joy and DougDoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-2692577687291713112013-05-12T10:26:00.000-07:002013-05-19T09:23:56.503-07:00Settling InSome of you have noticed that it's been nearly six months since I posted on the blog. Two of Joy's former co-workers, Colin Carr and Gavin Tull wrote expressing concern about the lack of news and that was sweet of them. <br />
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Joy is fine. We are settling in. There hasn't been much of note to write about in the way of changes in Joy's condition. Sadly, I'm now of the opinion that Joy has hit a kind of flat line in her recovery. It became apparent around Christmas time when I was comparing older posts on this blog to the newer ones. Joy had a spurt of improvement when she got home two years ago on April 29th and it seemed to continue for nearly a year, but the past year has not seen much improvement, although her physical health has improved and we are not now experiencing any problems. The "flat line" doesn't change anything, but I owe it to all of Joy's friends and family to speak the truth: it appears to me that Joy will never recover sufficiently to be able to take care of herself. She doesn't have the capacity to develop those skills and retain them. That fact will not change anything in the way we live. I will always care for her and love her to the best of my ability. <br />
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But I've been forced to petition a judge to make a legal change in our relationship. Because we never formally signed or had notarized a document giving each other power of attorney even though we had the documents in our possession, I have been advised by an attorney that I need to file legal papers to give me the power of a conservatorship over Joy and her affairs. The attorney said that until we do that we will never be able to sell our home, since Joy is incapable of signing documents and we are joint owners. The necessity for this legal action became even more apparent last week while I was arranging for our switch to Medicare and learned that Joy cannot get supplemental insurance for Medicare until I get the conservatorship to allow me to sign for her. It should take about three months for the conservatorship to be awarded by the judge. She is covered by Medicare Part A and B now, but if there is another catastrophic health crisis, we could end up paying 20% of the bill.<br />
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There are also financial matters that need to be attended to. Joy had some IRAs and a 401k that need to be managed and she also has a pension coming when she turns 65. The people who manage these accounts cannot legally talk to me and make changes that will benefit Joy and I until I get the conservatorship. It simply is something I must do for our future. <br />
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The lesson that everyone should learn from this is that if you are married, make sure you and your spouse have power of attorney over each other's affairs should something similar to what happened to Joy and me happen to you.<br />
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We've had a beautiful spring again around here. The bluebirds are nesting in front and the house wrens in the back bridhouse behind the pool. The ash-throated fly catchers are intently watching and waiting for one of the occupied bird houses to open up. We've seen king snakes on several occasions. Here's a picture of one taken with my iphone:<br />
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These snakes are wonderful. They kill rattlesnakes by constricting them. They are immune to rattlesnake venom. I chanced upon a king snake who was about to kill a rattler one day in the middle of our gravel road. I went back to the house in my car and got my camera. When I came back I must have gotten too close with the car and it scared the king snake away. The picture below is of the king snake moving away with the rattler still in the middle of the road.<br />
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And here's a bluebird picture: <br />
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and his mate:<br />
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I'd like here to mention the passing of my uncle, MacDonald Eaton who died after a long illness in March. Uncle Don was a talented artist and designer who never stopped creating throughout his life. I have several works of his in my possession and I treasure them. Here is a link to his obituary in a local newspaper in Central New Jersey:<br />
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<a href="http://newjerseyhills.com/echoes-sentinel/obituaries/macdonald-eaton-attended-watchung-borough-school/article_09c7ce08-8cab-11e2-b9b0-001a4bcf887a.html">MacDonald Eaton </a><br />
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He will be sorely missed. <br />
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Joy and I wish you all a happy spring and a restful, vacation-filled summer.<br />
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Love to you all, <br />
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Doug Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-20799025169375659802012-12-21T20:28:00.000-08:002012-12-22T17:44:36.900-08:00The Joy of ChristmasDear Friends and Family: <br />
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It is two years to the day when I got three disturbing phone calls in a row from Joy's cellphone. She had left earlier in the morning to go to the Pitney Bowes facility in Corona about 45 minutes north of us. It was to be her last day of work for ten days. She had been working very hard, both at her job and at preparing for Christmas and was looking forward to some time off. A few hours after she left, my cell phone rang and I answered it but there was no voice at the other end. All I could hear was the sound of a vehicle moving through rainy weather. No one spoke. I spoke Joy's name, but there was no answer. My initial thought was that she had perhaps been kidnapped and had speed dialed my number to let me know she was in trouble, but couldn't speak to me. So I hung up. I was going to call her back, but I thought, that if she had been kidnapped and the kidnappers didn't know she had a phone, that a call from me would alert them.<br />
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The phone rang again and I heard the same noise: the sound of driving in the rain. After few moments I hung up again. I was trying to figure out what to do. Should I call the police? A few minutes later it rang again. This time Joy's friend Cyndy was on the phone. I asked what was going on, that I had had these two strange calls and was very worried. She said she was trying to use Joy's phone to call me, but couldn't figure out how to use it. She said Joy had showed up in Corona with a terrible headache, a headache like none she had ever experienced. She had laid down on the carpet in her office. She was frightened. Cyndy had called an ambulance, which had arrived and they were on the way to the emergency room. <br />
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And so began our terrible ordeal. I drove up to the hospital where it had been determined that she needed to go to another hospital that was better able to handle serious neurological problems. That was Loma Linda University Medical Center. The next day we learned from her scans and tests that she had two aneurysms; that one was rather large and needed to be clipped in a craniotomy procedure and that the second one could wait because it was small and in a difficult place to treat deep within the back of her brain. We were later to learn that the second aneurysm was small because it had burst that day. The blood on her brain from that aneurysm would cause severe vaso-spasms, which eventually led to her stroke ten days later. <br />
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It doesn't seem like two years ago. It seems like last week. The time has apparently flown by as we've spent so much of our time caring for Joy. The horror of the next four or five months after that rainy day just before Christmas will live with me forever. She actually stopped breathing early in the morning on January 3rd, 2011, but the doctors and nurses brought her back by installing a breathing tube. She spent two months in intensive care at two hospitals. And then 9 weeks at a rehabilitation facility which was itself a difficult experience for Susan and me, having to witness not only Joy in such a helpless condition on a daily basis, but also the scores of broken people who were fast approaching the end of their lives. <br />
<br />
This Christmas I will miss the old Joy, who would work herself into exhaustion preparing for Christmas--shopping, making jams, jellies, toffee and cookies, cooking and pre-assembling the Beef Wellingtons to be served at Christmas dinner, wrapping presents and mailing them off, and decorating the house. She loved Christmas, and was intent on making it special for everyone. I tried to help reduce the load on her by volunteering to do those things I could do, but it always seemed she would add another task to the list of things to do to replace the one she could strike from the list because I was doing it. It seemed she could never do enough for those she loved. <br />
<br />
We will have a happy Christmas this year. We have much to be
grateful for. Sister Susan came through her chemotherapy
treatment for lymphoma successfully and is now in remission. (Joy had
learned of Susan's cancer a month before her own health crisis and
it was something that was worrying her terribly in the run-up to that Christmas.) Joy is progressing in small steps as she grows stronger and more confident. She is
getting better at doing tasks. She frequently comes into the kitchen
while I'm cooking and tries to do things to tidy up. She checks the
pots on the stove to see if everything is being prepared properly. And
she's enthusiastically helping with the dishes after dinner, as the
picture of her and her nurse Wendy below shows: <br />
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I also think Joy is tiring of having everything done for her. She wants to help do everything, but still doesn't quite have the understanding or dexterity to perform more complicated tasks. She will become more able as her health and awareness improve and as she re-learns basic skills for living.<br />
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Sister Susan came over to help decorate the tree last weekend and here is a picture of the two of them having fun together hanging ornaments: <br />
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Our plans are to go to Sue Thomas, John Kilker and Mary Anne Schetter's house down the street for Christmas Eve dinner. Susan and Paul will be there. The following day, Susan's son Jonathan will arrive with his wife Jen and we will spend the late afternoon and the following days visiting with them. I've made sure that Joy has lots of presents to open on Christmas morning. <br />
<br />
Christmas celebrates the birth of our Savior and it is my favorite holiday of them all. It is an event that has inspired men and women down through the ages. In the kitchen these days I listen to classical Christmas music that His birth inspired and it lifts me like no other music. The birth of Jesus, the most influential and consequential man who ever lived, also marked the birth of the religion He gave to the world, the true religion of peace. I am grateful to God for the gift of his Creation and for blessing us with the gift of his Son. Joy to the World! The Lord has come!<br />
<br />
Christmas has always been a holiday that honors and celebrates children. Joy, in many ways, is a child now and does everything at a child's pace. For example, it takes here nearly an hour to eat her dinner. She's been relieved of all the stress and anxiety of her former life and lives in a simple, calm and happy world where every object that catches her gaze is cause for wonderment. It's as if she is seeing everything for the first time. When Sue or Natalie take her shopping they come back and always say, "She has to touch and handle everything in the store!" I look forward to seeing Joy open her presents and enjoy the festivities of Christmas day. <br />
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The other day we received another beautiful hand-made card from Linda and Colin Carr who live in Spain. Across the bottom of the front of the card were silhouettes of figures in a winter scene. At breakfast the other morning, Joy was touching the figures on the card and smiling at it for a period of several minutes. It was as if she was in the scene and enjoying the winter wonderland with the silhouettes. It appears that Linda used a painting by Thomas Kinkade and added the silhouettes herself on a fold out section to create another three-dimensional card. The photo below doesn't do it justice:<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Have
yourself a merry little Christmas</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let
your heart be light </span></span>
</div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">From
now on, our troubles will be out of sight</span></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Have
yourself a merry little Christmas </span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Make
the Yuletide gay </span></span>
</div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">From
now on, our troubles will be miles away </span></span></div>
<div style="border: medium none; color: #274e13; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="border: medium none; color: #274e13; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Here
were are as in olden days</span></div>
<div style="border: medium none; color: #274e13; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b></b></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">happy
golden days of yore</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="border: medium none; color: #274e13; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Faithful
friends who are dear to us</span></span></div>
<div style="border: medium none; color: #274e13; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">gather
near to us once more</span></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Through
the years we all will be together</span></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If
the fates allow</span></span></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Hang
a shining star upon the highest bough</span></div>
<div style="color: #274e13;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">And
have yourself a merry little Christmas now.</span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;">Merry Christmas to you all and best wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="color: #38761d;">
Love, </div>
<div style="color: #38761d;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #38761d;">
Joy and Doug </div>
<div style="color: #38761d;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-30886690015465609032012-11-05T10:13:00.000-08:002012-11-05T19:39:55.318-08:00Dear Friends and Family: <br />
<br />
We are plodding along here. Joy seems to have fully recovered from her surgery. She hit a plateau there for a while, but now seems to be gradually returning to the slight upward curve we've observed since the beginning. The other day when we were driving down to see Dr. Sanchez, she was holding a bottle of water and was having trouble getting the cap off. (Her right hand lacks some dexterity.) So I took the bottle and unscrewed the cap for her. Because I was driving, she reached over to hold the wheel while I did the task for her. This was something she used to do frequently before her stroke because I tend to succumb to all manner of distractions while driving. She saved us from running off the road at least once that I can recall and probably more times than that. Just another little sign of her slowly increasing awareness. <br />
<br />
Last week we had another visit from Joy's Pitney Bowes co-workers and friends, Cyndy Smith and Georgia Schweitzer. They are overwhelmed by work and the general struggle for survival, but always manage to take time for a visit when they can. Cyndy lost her father this year, and Georgia has burdens of her own. They miss Joy and her amazing abilities on the job. This time they brought her a belated birthday gift, a blanket with the words, "joy," "happiness," and "peace" printed all over. Very cute and appropriate. I think she is happy most of the time, although there are not the soaring highs (and accompanying lows) that she once experienced. Certainly she is at peace and of course she is still JOY. Here are pictures of the visit:<br />
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<br />
<br />
Cyndy arrived before Georgia did, and Joy's reaction when she saw Cyndy come into the house was more energetic and aware than any I've seen since before her stroke. She immediately tried to rise to her feet and with a little help succeeded. She was very aware of who Cyndy was and clearly overjoyed to see her. It was heart-warming to see her so in-the-moment again. <br />
<br />
On Halloween night, Joy's nurse Wendy Ward took her to a church Halloween celebration that was attended by hundreds of adults and children. Wendy and Natalie Kinsley, also a nurse for Joy, met up at the church function, where Natalie was manning the pizza stand. Here are some pictures from that evening:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ev59MmDrzCI/UJf8bK2eGpI/AAAAAAAAAMI/S7x6MM4Qhvo/s1600/156.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ev59MmDrzCI/UJf8bK2eGpI/AAAAAAAAAMI/S7x6MM4Qhvo/s640/156.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Natalie, Joy, Wendy and a caramel apple </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A penguin befriends Joy </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<br />
Thanks to Wendy for sending the photos. Wendy is the newest addition to our team and works in the evenings five days a week. It would not be possible for me to care for Joy alone. Sue, Natalie and Wendy are an indispensable part of our family life now. I'm eternally grateful to all of them. We are truly blessed. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow is election day and I will vote for a change. I will vote for Mitt Romney because, as Clint Eastwood says, "when they don't do the job, you got to let them go." Some of my very best, dearest and oldest friends who read this blog are liberals and/or Democrats. I try to make this blog all sweetness and light, but today Joy, who slowly evolved from a liberal into a conservative in our twenty years together, and I have a warning for them: TOMORROW WE ATTACK AT DAWN!<br />
<br />
Just kidding, I love you all dearly and want the best for our country. If Obama wins again, he will have my respect and cooperation. <br />
<br />
God Bless America. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-43451407872776186002012-09-04T12:05:00.000-07:002012-09-04T22:17:38.766-07:00Surgery<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<br />
Dear Friends and Family of Joy:<br />
<br />
Saturday, September 1st: Joy has come through her reconstructive surgery in fine form. Doctor Sanchez was pleased with the result. In the early morning before the surgery, he told me that he had been viewing 3D models of Joy's cranium the previous day and noticed that the clip that had been installed to isolate one of her aneurysms was dangerously close to the inside surface of her skin that covered the void at her temple. He was concerned that when he peeled back her skin in that area in order to install the Titanium mesh, that he might disturb the deformed artery that had been clipped. That did not happen as it turned out, thanks to his careful efforts and expertise as a neurosurgeon. <br />
<br />
The surgery lasted only two hours and fifteen minutes although Dr. Sanchez had reserved four hours in the event he encountered problems. It went well and Joy was placed in Intensive Care for the rest of the day and night. She was mostly unresponsive during the rest of the day, but this morning she was awake and alert although she seemed annoyed at having gone through surgery once more. Here's a picture of her this morning in the ICU, twenty-four hours after coming out of surgery:<br />
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<br />
<br />
For me this morning she didn't smile at all, but this afternoon after coming home, I got a
call from our friend Dr. Chuck Smith, who had stopped by after work to see Joy.
She'd been moved out of the ICU and was in the secondary neuro-unit.
He said she was smiling broadly and that she looked great. We are hoping to bring her home tomorrow.<br />
--------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
Update, Tuesday September 4th: "Tomorrow" was Sunday and she did not make it home. Speech therapists were concerned that she was not eating and that she pocketed some apple sauce they gave her. She failed what is called a "swallow test." This was not an unusual occurrence for those of us who have been caring for Joy at home for the last 16 months, but it alarmed the specialists at Scripps Green sufficiently for them to advise against her release. The neurosurgeon on duty, Dr Uchiyama, considered their opinion and decided to keep her one more night. The following day, the same thing happened with the speech therapist, Joy didn't eat and pocketed some liquid, but after a long consultation with Dr. Uchiyama, who asked all the right questions (Dr. Sanchez was off-duty all weekend), she was allowed to come home on Labor Day.<br />
<br />
I was somewhat concerned myself about bringing her home because she appeared to have weakened overnight, but once home she responded as we thought she might and started eating and drinking as we hoped she would. My sense is that the constant attention she got in the hospital-- the turning and changing of position every two hours, the regular checking of vital signs-- combined with the noise of the equipment and its seemingly endless variety of beeps and buzzers, had deprived her of sleep and sapped her energy. Once home, she seemed to return to normal within a couple of hours, although she is understandably still weak.<br />
<br />
Here's a picture of Joy just before she was released on Monday afternoon:<br />
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She's managing a little smile, probably because she knew she was going home. She looks a little flushed because she had a slight fever, which stayed with her throughout the day, but now, on Tuesday morning, is nearly gone.<br />
<br />
And here's a photo taken just before noon today. Nurse Sue Thomas had cleaned Joy up and fixed her hair so that it covered her incision pretty well. The incision is far longer and higher up on her head than I thought it would be. I thought Dr. Sanchez might use the original incision line but I was in error. I'm not sure why, but he cut an entirely new line that ran up near the center line of her head and then down to her ear. I'm sure he had his reasons. She's tired and cranky, but who wouldn't be under the circumstances?<br />
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<br />
Joy's 60th birthday party on August 12th was a happy occasion and Joy thoroughly enjoyed herself. We had upwards of 15 guests and Joy received too many presents and cards to list here. Special thanks from Joy and me to all those who contributed to the celebration, including sister Susan, who did much of the cooking. I could tell she didn't quite get the concept of blowing out the candles on the birthday pie so I blew them out for her with the hope she will receive the blessing of the deeply-held wish of everyone in attendance that she will continue to recover and improve in the years to come. We are in this for the long haul. <br />
<br />
Below a special gift given to Joy by our neighbors and dear friends Donna and David Wilbur. It's metal sculpture cut out of sheet steel and we love it, since it evokes a scene those of us who live in Rancho Heights see on a daily basis: coveys of California quail running across our meadows, hillsides and roads:<br />
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<br />
Thank you, David and Donna, and thanks to you all who continue to pray for Joy and keep her in your thoughts.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
<br />
Doug and Joy <br />
<br />Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-9757814417624222072012-07-25T12:45:00.001-07:002012-07-26T07:49:02.274-07:00A Busy Month Coming UpDear friends and family of Joy: Joy has had a good month after overcoming a urinary tract infection. She's eating well, walking more and seemingly more aware of her environment. She still has problems with her vision and coordination on her right side, but is improving, although slowly. Nurses Sue Thomas, Natalie Kinsley, Misty Kent and Wendy Ward are taking good care of her day and night. She frequently goes into town with Sue and Natalie to shop, get her hair done, or for lunch and a manicure. Before her ordeal, Joy was what might euphemistically be called an "enthusiastic shopper" but more realistically described as a "cutthroat deal-hunter." She has lost none of her zeal in that regard for being in the stores and viewing the merchandise. She always loved to shop for apparel, fabrics, knick knacks, gourmet food and shoes. Sue and Joy's sister Susan frequently take her to Kohls, Ross, Trader Joe's, Walmart and the shoe stores. They are at Costco as I write this. <br />
<br />
Brother-in-law Paul has helped me obtain an email address for Joy. It is<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
joy@eatonbuilding.com </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If you'd like to send Joy an email, we would welcome it and will read them to her. We are not sure how much she absorbs from our reading such things to her, but the view around here is that she is more cognizant than she may appear. The other day, with my mother Dorothy on the phone, I put the phone in Joy's ear, and Mom spoke directly to Joy for about a minute. A big smile spread across Joy's face. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I also have a new email address to use on our Ipad when I travel. It is </div>
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<br /></div>
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dpeatebc@me.com</div>
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<br /></div>
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I will be back in New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Delaware visiting my family and friends from August 15th through August 23rd. Joy will be in good hands in my absence thanks to Sister Susan, Sue Thomas and the other nurses. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
When I return, Joy will have pre-op exams and tests on August 28th. On August 31st, she will undergo re-constructive surgery to repair the voids in her skull resulting from uneven healing of the bone after her craniotomy in December of 2010. She will spend at least two nights in Scripps Green Hospital at La Jolla and then hopefully be well enough to come home. We hope that the surgery doesn't cause too long a pause in her recovery. Based on previous experience, we have reason to believe that it won't. That said, this will be a long and somewhat complicated procedure with Dr. Sanchez patching three areas of her skull and a cosmetic surgeon in attendance to make sure the her skin is repaired in such a way as to produce the best possible outcome. At least it's not brain surgery . . . <br />
<br />
We will also be having a birthday party for Joy on August 12th, the day before she turns 60 years old on August 13th. Several of our friends and neighbors have been invited. The food will be great, since there are so many great cooks in our development. I'm looking forward to it. <br />
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Yesterday, our brother-in-law Paul came by to take some pictures of Joy and me so that I might have some to post here. At first he shot pictures of the both of us and then he shot a couple of me alone because I also wanted a photo to paste into to my seldom-used Facebook page. After a few photos of me were shot, Paul and I looked around to find that Joy had disappeared, which caused momentary panic. Turns out she had simply walked up the steps and back into the house by herself, which is the first time she has ever ascended steps without assistance. We were obviously relieved that she had succeeded without falling, but her balance and vision are such that we can't let it happen again for the foreseeable future. There are only three steps in the back but the treads are 30 inches wide and require you to adjust your stride as you ascend. But she made it! Nurse Sue was surprised to see her walk into the house by herself.<br />
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And then today she again asserted her independence. Sue took her to her house, which is just down the street, and left Joy in the car to drop off some things. When she came back, Joy had gotten out of the car on her own, had walked over to the chain link gate that keeps the dogs in, and was trying to figure out how to open it. It was only a matter of time before she struck out on her own. I view it as a significant step forward in her recovery, but it does present some dangers and we will now have to be more vigilant. <br />
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Here are some of the pictures that Paul took. In the first, Joy was being playful and put her sunglasses on me: <br />
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In this one, we are talking with our fingers. Joy tends to communicate by pointing or waving her finger sometimes. In this picture I think she was saying, "you better be careful," and I replied "no, you better be careful" (or something like that):<br />
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And here's another next to the pool with the breeze blowing Joy's hair:<br />
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And here's one of my favorite photos from the past called "shooting the rainbow," taken in March of 2009 down on St Croix by my good friend Charlie Simpson. Joy loved the photo when she first saw it-- or she did until she noticed she had a cigarette in her hand. I still love it:<br />
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Love and good health to you all,<br />
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Doug and Joy <br />
<br /></div>Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-77214541415611137272012-06-17T09:38:00.000-07:002012-06-17T12:53:49.629-07:00SpringDear friends and family of Joy:<br />
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We've had a lovely spring here in Southern California. Temperatures have been mild and the blooms of wild flowers plentiful and long-lasting. Historically we usually have had some hot days by mid-June, but not this year. Rainfall this past winter was plentiful enough and temperatures this spring have ranged in the high 70s to the low 80s. The ceanothus, sage, chamise, monkeypod, yucca, and poppies are blooming profusely every where. It's been the most colorful spring we've seen since we moved down here in 2004.<br />
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Cyndy Smith and Georgia Schweitzer, Joy's friends and former co-workers at Pitney Bowes came for a visit on May 25th and, after a lunch of sandwiches, we had a little dance party. Joy had lots of fun and showed off a few dance moves I hadn't seen for a while. Here are some pictures of Joy, Cindy, Georgia and Joy's nurse Natalie Kinsley dancing up a storm to Michael McDonald on the ipod player:<br />
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In the picture below, Joy is in the middle of doing a little spin:<br />
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I want to thank Cyndy and Georgia for staying in touch and continuing to show their love and support for Joy.<br />
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We did have some sad news this month. Emelda Beltran, who joined us as Joy's night nurse in January, became ill in mid-May and passed away on May 31st. Emelda was the mother of one of our neighbors, Josie Pfaff. She was an elegant Filipino lady who did not speak much English, but who connected with Joy immediately upon meeting her and communicated with her in an intuitive way. She will be missed. Joy, our nurses Susan and Natalie, and I attended the memorial service Josie and her husband Dave held for Emelda at their house down the street from us. It was very moving. Our prayers and heartfelt condolences go out to Josie, Dave and their children. <br />
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Joy and Natalie took a spa and a swim one warm day and I shot a few photos. It was gratifying to see Joy enjoying the water. Last July we put her in the spa and the pool and she didn't seem to like it. She was anxious and couldn't relax. (Joy is a New York City girl with a healthy fear of water. I remember trying to teach her how to dive at the association pool in Rancho Palos Verdes when we first met. Over the years, whenever we swam in the ocean she made sure not to venture out in water over her head.) This time she was completely at ease as the pictures show:<br />
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We had an appointment with Dr. Sanchez on Thursday. He was pleased with Joy's progress and encouraged us to increase the amount of exercise she takes. He said that while her progress had been slow, he believes she will always continue to improve and learn new things. Unfortunately, Joy will require one more major surgical procedure, which we discussed with the doctor. Her skull did not heal properly after her craniotomy in late 2010; she has two large indentations at her temple and above her ear and a small crease indented on her forhead. Doctor Sanchez will use a patching procedure that requires mesh and synthetic materials to fill these voids. It will not only improve how she looks but it will improve the structural strength of her skull and reduce the possibility of serious injury should she ever fall again and hit her head. He will also use the services of a plastic surgeon to make sure her skin correctly covers the patches and heals properly. The procedure is tentatively scheduled for early September. I would like to thank Dr. Sanchez for his caring and professional manner. He is a fine doctor. <br />
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Joy is beginning to recover her ability to perform simple tasks. She loves to tidy up the small messes she finds (the ones I have a habit of leaving around the house--some things never change), and occasionally walks into the kitchen and attempts to help with the chores there. Her ability to execute tasks is limited--she cannot, for example, remember where to put the dishes when they are clean--but she is trying and most importantly, interested in helping. It's a long-term process, but we see small incremental improvements occurring every week.<br />
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But she is still very much Joy. Her generosity, one of her more endearing traits, still shines through. Whenever she is eating something she never fails to offer a bite or a spoonful, whether it be a sandwich or ice cream, to whomever she is with. <br />
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More birds: we have a second clutch of bluebird eggs in one of the bird houses, but also ash-throated flycatchers nesting in another. An interesting characteristic of the latter is that they build their nests almost entirely of animal hair. Below a picture of the female and then the male as he views me warily taking his picture:<br />
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And then a picture of a male with a very pronounced crest that I took last year: <br />
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I hope you all have a fun and relaxing summer. I am planning a trip back home to New Jersey sometime in August before Joy's surgery. I look forward to seeing friends and family spread out in three states. (Good thing they are small states. Out here we have counties that are bigger than eastern states-- for example, San Bernadino County, which is larger than Massachusetts.) It's been a while since I've been back east and I always enjoy it in summer because it feels so tropical compared to our hot, arid climate here in California. If any of you would like to come visit us, please feel free to call and let us known your plans. <br />
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Love to you all and thank you for thinking of us, <br />
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Doug <br />
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<br />Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-4473256939205512392012-05-13T20:42:00.000-07:002012-05-14T10:56:37.444-07:00One Year At Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Joy returned home from the rehab facility at Carmel Mountain one year ago, April 29th, 2011. This year, that date also marks the 20th anniversary of the day that Joy moved up from Los Angeles to Oakland in 1992 to live with me in a house that we rented together on Morgan Ave. Pre-marital bliss, you might call it. It was, coincidentally, the same day that the riots began raging in Los Angeles over the Rodney King verdicts in favor of the two policeman who had beaten him. I remember Joy and her sister Susan drove up together in Joy's old Mercedes with a two caged birds and a cat named the Motor City Kitty in the back seat. When they arrived, they had no idea that Los Angeles had exploded and been burning the entire day. They had been listening to music on the cassette player (remember those?) and singing along to pass time during the 7 hour drive. <br />
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The riots in Los Angeles turned out to be a problem for Joy. She had just purchased a condo in Rancho Palos Verdes and had intended to sell it because of the move to Oakland. The riots made that very difficult by depressing property values and after several months of trying to rent it, she finally sold it at a loss. After six months of renting on Morgan Avenue, we decided to buy our own house on Davenport Avenue in Redwood Heights and that turned out to not only be a wonderful house to live in, but one that rewarded our investment handsomely when we sold it twelve years later. I'm sure many of you remember that house. I have many joyous memories of our time there. It was difficult for us to leave when we finally sold it in 2004. <br />
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Although I sometimes despair at Joy's condition and the slowness of her recovery, when I think back on her condition in late April 2011, I see how far she's come. She couldn't walk or move her right arm or right leg. She couldn't get out of bed without our deploying a Hoyer lift. We all wondered how she would interact with the dogs when she arrived home, but at first, she didn't even see them, since they were in constant motion and her eyes couldn't follow fast enough. She couldn't eat or drink and got her food and water through a j-tube. She was severely disabled. <br />
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She's come a long way. In the past two months she has had some problems with urinary tract infections (UTIs), and the antibiotics they prescribe for that cause her intestinal problems which we are dealing with, but in general her condition is good and improving. Her performance in physical and occupational therapy is good most days but not always. Therapy will come to an end soon, since we are beginning to run out of visits paid for by the insurance company, and because the therapists feel she needs to make more progress at home before they can continue to work with her. She was discharged from the rehab hospital for the same reason a year ago and I feel that it was actually better for her to come home than it would have been if she had stayed at the rehab facility. The nurses and I provided far more personal attention than she was getting at Carmel Mountain. We will continue to work with her at home with an instructional sheet provided by the therapists at the Scripps Rehab facility. Once she achieves the goals they have set out for her, we will resume her sessions there.<br />
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Here's a picture of Joy taken a few days ago:<br />
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We've had to take her to a urologist to treat her UTI. We have also scheduled her for a mammogram and a visit to a gastroenterologist. Tests revealed some potential issues with her intestinal tract, but nothing serious so far. We want her to be as healthy as she can be. UTIs tend to effect concentration and can set back progress made in therapy. They are a common problem in stroke victims and are often difficult to treat. We are doing our best. <br />
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This week we took her back for a visit to her primary care physician, who hadn't seen her in six months. The doctor's nurse was genuinely surprised at how much better she looked than she had in her previous visits. Dr. Christina Bailey gave Joy a check up and at one point during the exam she began to ask Joy questions to see if Joy would respond. Joy did not respond to three questions so Dr. Bailey said to her, "I see. You can't talk. That's all right. But do you understand what I am saying to you?" Joy's eyes lit up and she immediately nodded her head. The nurses and I were aware that Joy frequently understands what we are saying to her, but it was still nice to see her confirm it so enthusiastically. <br />
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We are having a gorgeous spring here, one that suggests to me that our move from Oakland eight years ago was the right decision. The wild flowers are blooming every where, the birds are nesting in the three bird houses I've built and the temperatures are balmy. Bluebirds have nested for the fourth year in a row in one of the houses and I've taken some pretty good photographs of them:<br />
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I just love bluebirds. They are such acrobatic flyers. We generally have two nestings in our boxes per year. We also get ash-throated flycatchers and house wrens, who are ferocious little creatures.<br />
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I will try and post more frequently in the future. Love to you all and thanks for thinking about us. <br />
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Doug <br />
<br />Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-37103194013354899992012-03-18T13:52:00.004-07:002012-03-27T18:10:35.868-07:00Joy Is Doing Just Fine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Dear Friends and Family:<br />
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My apologies for not posting for a while. <br />
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All things considered, Joy is healthy and progressing. She is happy and relaxed. We regularly see little indications that her awareness is increasing and her physical abilities are improving. As I have said, the pace will be slow toward some kind of self-sufficiency, but the timing is mostly beyond our control and we will never cease striving to help Joy improve the quality of her life. <br />
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Visits to the physical and speech therapists at Scripps Encinitas are producing results. Joy now understands the concept of therapy and is actively trying to improve the skills she will need to live a full life. She is concentrating on the exercises they are teaching her and improving, although there are times when her concentration lags a bit. Our speech therapist, Kelly, thinks that because of the atmosphere we have provided for Joy at home, her ability to achieve a significant recovery is enhanced. By that she meant that many stroke victims are not provided with an active, challenging life and consequently spend much of their time sitting alone without stimulation. We are lucky to still be able to provide Joy with full-time nursing. The nurses constantly interact with her and challenge her to achieve the goals we have set for her.<br />
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I owe these nurses a lot. Sue Thomas, Natalie Kinsley and Emelda Beltran are presently manning (womaning?) the shifts and are all excellent caregivers. Before them we had help from Misty Kent, Angela Rudolph, Crystal Valdez and Teresa Demarco. I wish to thank them all, and especially Sue Thomas who has been here from the beginning and tirelessly managed the whole affair. Thanks, Sue! Natalie also is a very fine and caring nurse, and Emelda works tirelessly on the night shift. I thank them both.<br />
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We had one of those little episodes the other day that inspire us to carry on. Joy was in speech therapy with Kelly and going through her swallowing exercises. She still has a problem with pocketing liquids, a problem that originated with her stroke, but was compounded by the fact that most of her liquid intake was through her j-tube for nearly a year. Kelly is dealing with the problem by feeding her liquids and sweet ices for much of the hour we spend with her twice a week. She uses different kinds of drinks--milk, juice, water, to try and get Joy to identify and choose one she wants. She uses a small laryngeal mirror to stimulate the back of Joy's throat when she decides not to swallow.<br />
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The other day she had Joy swallowing regularly and at one point asked Joy if she could open her mouth and say "AAHHHH." Joy thought about this for a moment an attempted it. We watched her struggle to open her mouth wide and make the sound for several seconds. Finally she gave up and said, "I can't." This was a revelation for us. She had understood the command, tried hard to execute it and then spoke to us to tell us she couldn't. There are usually several unique episodes like this every month. Each of them reveals to us that she is progressing and re-invigorate us in our mission. <br />
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Here's a picture of Kelly using the laryngeal mirror:<br />
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Joy is also doing well in physical therapy with her therapist Rebecca, who concentrates on teaching Joy how to get in and out of bed safely, how to sit and rise from a chair, and how to use stairs. It's amazing how complex a simple act like sitting in a chair is. It involves perfect balance, peripheral vision, precise bending of the body at certain points, balance, hand coordination, and then strong muscle control. Joy is getting better at it all the time, but has difficulty utilizing her right hand to assist in the process. When ascending and descending stairs, she tends to grip the rail and neglect to slide it up (or down as the case may be) with her as she goes. This indicates that her fear of falling is strong, but we want to develop her confidence to overcome the challenge. It's helpful that the stairs at our house are less of a challenge than the ones at the hospital. They are narrower with handrails on both sides. (I'm reminded that when I was designing our house, Joy asked why I wasn't designing a single-story house in the event we were still in it when we got old. I told her that the site was so difficult we needed to build a two-story to get the floor space we needed and that we had lots of time before we would find stairs challenging. Little did I know . . .)<br />
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Here are pictures of Joy and Rebecca ascending and descending a long commercial stairway at the hospital:<br />
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Joy also made her first trip to the dentist in over a year last week. Photo below. I apologize for the haziness of the picture, but I'm using three cameras, my regular Panasonic, our ipad, and my iphone. I used the latter in our dentist Dr. Walker's office and didn't realize that the lens was dirty. I still haven't fully mastered the Panasonic and I've only started using the two others recently. We've created instructional videos with the ipad in order to record procedures that the therapists use so that we might study them at home. We recorded Kelly instructing us in swallowing exercises. Also, Joy recently had to have her orthopedic boot re-inforced because she was finding her way out of it. We recorded Jennifer, the sales technician, showing us how to fit and secure the boot properly on Joy.<br />
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Here's the hazy picture of Joy with Dr. Walker and hygienist Tiffany: <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7SYVcgsEeu8/T2Yr1mlsAFI/AAAAAAAAAGg/bGmovX4FICQ/s1600/IMG_0039.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="560" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7SYVcgsEeu8/T2Yr1mlsAFI/AAAAAAAAAGg/bGmovX4FICQ/s640/IMG_0039.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> Joy had difficulty opening her mouth wide enough for the Doctor to examine her thoroughly and also couldn't tolerate the sonic cleaning procedure, but did have a good overall cleaning. Doctor Walker said that what he saw looked good and that there was no sign of cavities. We brush her teeth regularly and, in fact, sometimes take her in for an extra brushing when she pockets some food or drink. (It's easier that way to get her to spit out what she's holding in her mouth.) Her teeth always looked very white to me, which was surprising because she was a moderate smoker, but she worked hard to keep them that way. They still look just as white.<br />
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I'm building an entertainment center of sorts in the living room, where Joy spends her evenings watching the Hallmark and the Home and Garden channels. I've got the boxes made of oak plywood installed and will build the cabinet doors of oak sometime in the next month. Then the boxes get faced with oak around the doors. The countertops will either be cut from a leftover piece of rose-colored marble given to us by Craig and Jackie Hill or some marble tile that matches the risers on the stairs to the second floor. Here's a current photo of the work in progress:<br />
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I'm sometimes asked how I'm holding up and advised at the same time to make sure I take care of myself and do things I enjoy doing--to "take time for yourself." I've never had a problem with that, and now that I'm apparently retired, I find I have the time to do some things I like to do and take care of Joy at the same time. We are limited in our ability to travel right now, but I look forward to the day when we can travel together again and take some long overdue vacations. In recent years Joy had been to Tahiti, China, and northern Europe and Russia with her sister Susan, while we had traveled to St. Croix, Costa Rica, and Huatulco Oaxaca Mexico. Joy loved traveling, and whenever the opportunity to do so avails itself we will come visit you all!<br />
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Okay, maybe not <b><i>all</i></b> of you, since I estimate there are at least a hundred of you who are following this blog, but as many of you as we can. <br />
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Love from us to you all,<br />
<br />
Joy and DougDoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-65828493082386294542012-02-02T18:00:00.000-08:002012-02-02T21:18:56.841-08:00Quick UpdateWe've reached a milestone: Joy had her feeding j-tube removed on Tuesday the 31st. This is the last of all the tubes and drains that were inserted last year during the holiday season. At one time it seemed she must have been hooked up to at least ten tubes, drains, or wires. We've slowly eliminated them over the year. We've also stopped using the wheel chair, the food pump, a walker, and the hoyer lift. The only medical equipment we have left in the house are the bed with rails and a raised toilet seat with arms.<br />
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The tube was removed at Scripps Green in La Jolla. We went there in the afternoon after Joy had therapy in the morning at Scripps Encinitas. We had an hour to wait so we took a walk into the ICU wing where Joy spent the entire month of February last year. We saw at least four of her nurses. They were thrilled to see her and genuinely surprised she was doing so well. We also saw one of the floor doctors who was astonished at how much progress she had made. I was remembered as the husband who played guitar for my wife as she lay there mostly unaware of what was happening to her. The floor doctor said, "She's gotten so much better because of all that guitar playing you did for her!" Despite Joy's condition, those were good, hopeful days because she had a good man, Dr. Sanchez, caring for her and doing everything he could to relieve the pressure on her brain. I felt she was making progress daily. She had a beautiful room that overlooked the Torrey Pines golf course and the ocean. I remember watching the hang gliders fly over the ocean during the days when the wind picked up. <br />
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Last week she was fitted with an orthopedic boot to help eliminate some deformation in her right foot, which doesn't show when she walks but spasms and curls under tightly when she is sitting with her feet raised. Her toes are also tightly curled. She was fitted for the boot last week. The technician thinks her foot will resume its normal shape in a few months if we use the boot according to instructions. She will have to start sleeping with it on next week. For the time being we put it on her for a few hours a day.<br />
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The physical therapist is also going to put in a request for a prescription for occupational therapy, so now when we make the hour-long drive to Encinitas, Joy will be able to have one hour each of physical, speech, and occupational therapy. That is where I'm placing my hopes for a significant recovery in the future. The Scripps Rehab facility at Encinitas specializes in patients suffering from brain injury and, I'm told, is one of the best there is. I usually go down to the clinic with Joy and either Sue or Natalie. We watch the therapists work with Joy and learn things we can do with her when we are at home with her.<br />
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It was a good week. <br />
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Love from us to you all,<br />
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Doug and JoyDoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-38746345651883332232012-01-26T18:32:00.000-08:002012-01-27T18:36:47.581-08:00A Difficult YearThe New Year brought some sad anniversaries with it and it caused me to reflect on this our most difficult year. January 2nd was one year to the day since the last time I talked to Joy as she was. I remember it well. Joy had been cognizant and responsive for nearly two weeks after her aneurysm burst-- even after her craniotomy--but on New Year's Day her decline began. On the 2nd, she was mostly non-responsive except for one moment when I asked her, how she was feeling. She replied, "Ten percent." That was the last coherent thing she said for at least six months and she has spoken only in fragments since then. That night, in the early morning hours of January 3rd, I got a call here at home saying that she had stopped breathing and that they had installed a breathing tube. They said she was stable. I sometimes wonder now if she thought it was her time to give up. But knowing Joy, it is far more likely that she would never have wanted to give up. <br />
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The one thing I remember hearing repeatedly in those days from those who knew Joy best was that she would overcome this ordeal because she was a "fighter." Having lived with Joy for 20 years, no one knew that better than I. It just didn't seem possible that this dynamic, energetic and talented person could be brought so low and then held down for any extended period of time. I still believe this to be true, but but my definition of an "extended period of time," has by necessity been adjusted. Joy's injuries were severe and her deficits are significant. I remember that as her ventricles were shrinking back to normal size and her brain was returning to its normal shape our friend the neurologist Chuck Smith expressed disappointment at the amount of brain damage that was revealing itself on the CT scans. It is going to take a long time for her to regain her ability to take care of herself and we need to face the possibility that it may never happen. Or, as Chuck put it, we should "expect the worst but hope for the best." <br />
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What Joy does have, and what I believe might eventually bring her to a level of recovery she would find acceptable, is her indomitable spirit. Although this is a quality that is difficult to quantify, it's one that Joy possesses in abundance. It's what has allowed her to progress and surprise her doctor and others who did not know her before her ordeal. It's what continues to surprise us all now. I remember the head physician at the Carmel Mountain facility scoffing dismissively at my statement quoting a therapist who had said Joy might walk again. Well, she's walking a mile or more a day now. She still needs assistance with her balance, but she's walking energetically. As my friend Gary Nagle, who owns an assisted living facility, said, "Don't listen to the doctors." <br />
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She's also becoming more assertive and difficult to handle. Occasionally she's disagreeable and uncooperative, especially at night. My friend Jim Simpson believes this is a good thing and I agree. A week ago, Joy was not cooperating with our attempts to get her into the bathroom and ready for bed. (Sometimes she resists for no apparent reason.) Because both the nurse and I were very tired and wanted to go to bed ourselves, I exerted some gentle force to get her into the bathroom to brush her teeth and dress for bed. After we finally got her in bed, she did what she used to do when she was mad at me: she refused to look me in the eye and ignored me. When I apologized and told her I was only doing it for her own good, she said, "Get lost." It shocked me, but I had to smile. She's becoming a bit combative again. I think it's a good sign. <br />
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On another day recently, she was working with her nurse Natalie on some interactive object-identification program on her Ipad. I was walking by and stopped to try and encourage her in her efforts. She wasn't having much success and I said something that in hindsight sounded a little silly and patronizing, although I was trying to be pleasant and encouraging. She picked up on it. "Bullshit," she said. <br />
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Most of the time Joy is happy, loving and respectful to me, her nurses and guests. And she is trying to be helpful with the chores. One night, when she refused to go into the bathroom to get ready for bed, she chose to wander into the kitchen, where she began to tidy up the place a bit. I had left a small pot of leftover rice on the stove that I had planned to feed to the dogs in the morning. She picked up the pot, took it into the pantry and put it in the exact right spot on the shelf with the other pots--rice and all. (It's the effort that counts.) She also helps Sue fold the laundry and sometimes wipes the counters when I'm cleaning up the kitchen.<br />
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(I'm reminded of a funny story Joy told me when I first met her back in 1991. While visiting her in Los Angeles, I always offered to do the dishes after she had cooked a meal. She was impressed by this and told her sister about it. Susan said, "Encourage him. Even if you have to wash them again when he's done.") <br />
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Some good news that marks further progress: we have discontinued her j-tube feeding. She is eating solid foods entirely now. We hope to have the j-tube removed in the next few weeks. She's down to three prescription medications which are sometimes difficult to get her to swallow but we are getting more successful at it daily. She's drinking more and still pockets liquids and food on occasion, but we have come up with some clever ways to get her to spit out what's been in her mouth for too long. <br />
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She's re-enrolled in physical therapy and is now also receiving speech therapy for the first time. Her speech therapist, as is the habit of all therapists, asked at our initial meeting what my goals were for her and I recited the usual litany: I'd like her to be self-sufficient, to be able to communicate on a basic level, to regain her sense of balance and perhaps to reach a level of dexterity that will allow her to resume doing the things she loves to do: paint, sew, garden and cook. "I'm not sure those goals are realistic," she replied, "But we will try." These types of statements tend to deflate me a bit, but then I think that the therapist is just another professional who didn't know Joy before her injury, and that it is a mistake to underestimate her spirit, her drive or her determination to refuse to accept less than what she wants and deserves. I still have hopes that she will prevail in her struggle, that as she gets stronger and more aware, her ability to contribute to her own recovery will increase. <br />
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Here's a portrait of Joy taken in 2009 while she was on a cruise around Tahiti with her sister Susan. Susan and Joy customarily took one trip together per year to places like Alaska, New Zealand, Russia and Scandanavia or the Caribbean. Of all the trips they took, I believe Joy enjoyed this one the most, although she was very impressed with New Zealand. I love the photo because it captures the essence of her personality when she was relaxed and enjoying herself. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-APXYelb9Q80/TyGofVxIU3I/AAAAAAAAAFw/6f5FwBDym14/s1600/Scanned+Image.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-APXYelb9Q80/TyGofVxIU3I/AAAAAAAAAFw/6f5FwBDym14/s640/Scanned+Image.jpeg" width="494" /> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And here's a picture of Joy sipping champagne on New Year's Eve: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thank you all for your prayers and best wishes. 2011 was a year that upended our lives. The love and support of friends and family helped us through it. To be honest, I had hoped we would be further along on the road to recovery by now, but it was not to be. I am grateful that Joy is alive and getting healthier. All we can do is hope, pray and work as hard as we can with her. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Love from us to you all, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Doug </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div>Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-76821154848424538162011-12-28T21:50:00.000-08:002011-12-28T21:50:31.659-08:00Merry ChristmasTo all who love Joy as I do, we wish you all the best in the New Year. May you be blessed with good health and prosperity. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Here's a picture of Joy using a mirror to check out her new hat (a gift from sister Susan) and her scarf that was knitted by our dear friend Jackie Hill:<br />
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A very 1960s hat, to be sure. But having lived through the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and the aughts, we are comfortable in any decade. <br />
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Love to you all . . .Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-38338602063494413352011-12-23T08:27:00.000-08:002011-12-27T19:02:56.517-08:00A Christmas BlessingJoy and I got up at 3 a.m, this morning (12/22) to go to the hospital for her angiogram procedure scheduled for 7 a.m. But before I tell you about that I want to tell you about other events this week.<br />
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Joy had a fall yesterday. She was in the bathroom being dressed by nurse Susan. Sue had bent down to help put her shoes on when Joy lost her balance and fell between the toilet and the wall. The right side of her face bumped against the toilet. Because of this, she has a bit of swelling and blackeye-ness around the edge of her right eye socket. She had a small abrasion on the top of her head and another on her cheek plus a scratch on her hand. I got there a minute after it happened and she looked bewildered but not noticeably in pain. Sue was very upset, but accidents will happen and we were probably due for one. It's difficult to be alert to such possibilities every second of every minute of every day. Joy has fallen twice before, both times outside the house and both times was rescued before she could hurt herself. We will be more attentive now.<br />
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Sister Susan's son (and Joy's nephew) Jonathan Fowler came for a three day visit this week with his wife Jennifer. They were here for the holidays last year when Joy was first in the hospital, but couldn't visit because Jon had the flu. But they had spoken to Joy on the phone in her room before the stroke felled her. Joy and I went over to Susan and Paul's for dinner on Monday night so that Joy could see Jon and Jen. Joy was cognizant of who they were and the love between them flowed. You could tell she knew they were family. Here's a picture of the gathering:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qON7u1OenoQ/TvSrbUn1BiI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/av8-anXn3CQ/s1600/polenachristmas3" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qON7u1OenoQ/TvSrbUn1BiI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/av8-anXn3CQ/s640/polenachristmas3" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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Jon and Jen are both graduates of UC Berkeley. Jen has a doctorate in physics and astronomy and is a professor at the University of Denver. Jon also is an instructor in physics there and teaches physics for the Princeton Review.<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
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Now the really good news: Joy's procedure went so well it has further convinced me that some one up there is indeed looking out for us. All of you who are praying regularly for Joy have my gratitude. A couple of months ago, Dr. Sanchez told us he thought that Joy's aneurysm, the one that had bled and caused her stroke, was growing again and that the growth was "not insignificant." He based that on viewing CT scans, MRI and MRA images. He thought he might have to install a stent of some kind, that Joy might have to take blood thinning drugs for several months and that her recovery might be set back for a while.<br />
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This morning when I spoke to him, he was also very concerned about Joy's head injury due to her fall and ordered another CT scan before the angiogram procedure. I was dreading the outcome of the procedure and what the next few months might bring when he called a very short hour after she went into surgery and said that the angiogram had shown that all her arteries and both the clipped and the coiled aneurysms were in very good shape, that there was no sign of internal injury from her fall, and that nothing needed to be done. Wonderful news! He further explained that the scans and images really don't give them a very good view and that you really can't see what's going on until you get inside to get a closer look. He suggested we do another procedure in a year, just to keep an eye on things. <br />
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I could not have asked for a better Christmas present. I said last winter in emails that Joy always tried to give presents that were more than the recipient was expecting and she did it again this year with the gift of her stable angioplasty diagnosis and improving health. Now it's back to facilitating her recovery as best we can.<br />
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Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year to all friends and family of Joy.<br />
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Love,<br />
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Doug and JoyDoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-11964960329585717242011-12-17T14:57:00.000-08:002011-12-17T23:15:20.147-08:00Waiting For The Procedure<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Dear family and friends of Joy: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>We had a great Thanksgiving with enormous amounts of food and too much football on tv. Sister Susan perfectly roasted yet another holiday turkey and the side dishes were all delicious. Below a picture of the celebration:<br />
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Lots of smiles all around. From left: John, Mary Anne, Joy, Sue, Susan and Paul.<br />
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On December 4th, Joy and I went by ourselves to a Christmas party down the street at the house of our good friends Jackie and Craig Hill. At first Joy saw all the cars outside the house and didn't want to get out of our car, but I persuaded her otherwise and as we got inside she was enveloped in the warmth of all her old friends in the community. Of the 25 people or so who were there, half had not seen Joy since her stroke and all were overjoyed to see her out and about. We ate heartily of the Christmas Chili and casserole and later from a dining room table filled with every conceivable kind of dessert. It was our first night out together in a long time. <br />
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Sue Thomas regularly takes Joy into town now for shopping trips and an occasional lunch. Her constant interaction with (and devotion to) Joy is the reason that Joy is continuing to recover at a slow but steady rate. One day we took Joy upstairs to our second floor master suite for the first time in a year and Joy got to visit her walk-in closet which contains clothes and accessories she had gathered over the past 40 years. This was a thrill for her and her smile indicates how pleased she was to be there: <br />
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It was wonderful to see her go up the stairs. She did it fairly easily and surprised us. We were hoping she would carefully take one step at a time and put both feet on each step, but she insisted on taking each step with one foot. She had a little problem with balance, but compared to the first time we tried climbing the stairs, she was very adept. Two months ago she struggled terribly to get up the stairs to the landing halfway up. When she got to the landing, she became afraid and decided she didn't want to continue on. So we sat her down and slid her back down the steps on her rear. This time she was much more sure of herself, intrepid and determined. It was yet another sign that she is improving, often in ways that we don't see until something dramatic like this happens.<br />
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I found this old photo of Joy and me and thought some of you might like to see it. It was taken a few months after we met in 1991 when Joy was living in Los Angeles and I was in Oakland. Back when we were courting, you might say. She'd fly up to see me once a month and I'd fly or drive down to see her once a month. This photo was taken at her condo at Rancho Palos Verdes which is just below all the beach towns in LA: <br />
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It was taken just before we went out to dinner at some fancy restaurant. Joy looked stunningly beautiful that night.<br />
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Back to the present: Joy's angioplasty procedure will take place this coming Thursday the 22nd, precisely a year and a day after she was struck down by her aneurysms last December. I am feeling the dread I always feel before these procedures, although I feel she is in very good hands with Dr. Sanchez-Mejia. We have to leave the house at 4 am to check in at 5 am at Scripps Green in La Jolla. Surgery is scheduled for 7 am. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. <br />
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The landscape around here is often dramatically beautiful this time of year and I have a couple of photos to prove it. The first shot is looking north out our backdoor at the San Bernadino Mountains at around 7 in the morning. The sun had not yet risen above the mountain to the east of us. The day before a moderate-sized Pacific storm had passed through. The tallest peak in the San Bernadino Mountains is Mount San Gorgonio at around 11,500 feet:<br />
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Here's one of our house at sunset with the full moon rising and then another closeup of the full moon above the hills:<br />
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We live in a beautiful spot and we are grateful for it.<br />
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I will try and update everyone as soon as possible after Joy's surgery. They think she might be able to come home after a night in the hospital and I hope that is the case. We are also praying that her recovery is not interrupted in any serious way, that she can quickly regain her equilibrium after general anesthesia, although Dr. Sanchez has warned us that her recovery could be set back.<br />
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Merry Christmas to you all and may you have a happy and prosperous New Year. <br />
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Love,<br />
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Doug and JoyDoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-81474852723737869932011-11-21T09:28:00.000-08:002011-11-21T16:39:59.733-08:00We Are Still Here<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">It's been sometime since the last post, so here's an update. Joy is slowly progressing and we see countless little indications of that every week that are too numerous to list. She is responding appropriately more often to verbal queues and doing little things like removing her socks when her feet get too warm. Purposeful things. Tonight she opened the door for Heidi after she scratched on it to come in. In the picture below you will see that she has crossed her right leg over her left and is resting her right hand on a box at the kitchen table. Six months ago, she could not move either her right leg or right arm.</span> </div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joy with attitude</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</tbody></table><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">Tomorrow we go for a series of tests that we hope will assure the doctors that Joy will be ready for her angioplasty procedure that is now tentatively scheduled for December 22nd. If vacancies in Dr. Sanchez's schedule occur before then, he will move the date up. December 22nd will mark a year and a day since Joy's aneurysm burst, a sad and frightening day that I will never forget and one which changed our lives forever. On December 23rd of last year, she had her craniotomy, which she tolerated well. In fact, Joy was lucid and fully herself for nearly 9 days after her craniotomy, but then the vasospasms from the blood from the other aneurysm that had burst and leaked into the deepest part of her brain caused her stroke on January 3rd. Later in January, the doctors at Loma Linda seemed to have given up on Joy and were planning to release her to a rest home where she most certainly would have died. At that point a miraculous rescue occurred that was engineered by Dr. Chuck Smith and Dr. Rene Sanchez-Mejia and, after Joy was moved to Scripps Green Hospital, her recovery began in earnest. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
<span style="color: black;">Yesterday Susan, who had just returned from a business trip to Las Vegas, came over to plan Thanksgiving with Sue and Joy. Sue's family, which includes her sister Mary Anne and her brother John, will join us for Thanksgiving. Given that all these ladies are excellent cooks, it should be a day of great food and happy times. Here's a picture of Susan, Sue and Joy planning the menu: </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QFJJIk1vmeU/TsqFVUvgwXI/AAAAAAAAAD4/xWyXctYaRgo/s1600/P1000351.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QFJJIk1vmeU/TsqFVUvgwXI/AAAAAAAAAD4/xWyXctYaRgo/s400/P1000351.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">Here's another picture of Joy outside after a walk : </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">After some problems and delays, we've downloaded selected programs from the apps store on Joy's iPad and she seems to be fascinated with the device. We hope it will become a useful tool in her journey to recover her ability to speak. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Finally, a photo of a black phoebe who has taken a liking to our new pool and the dead insects he finds on the surface in the morning. Although my camera is not the greatest and I don't shoot from a tripod, I'm starting to get some pretty good photos of the wildlife around here. I will post some on occasion. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lJ78hMf1Qdg/TsqIBXvYOOI/AAAAAAAAAEI/Jp3vol18yvQ/s1600/P1000344.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lJ78hMf1Qdg/TsqIBXvYOOI/AAAAAAAAAEI/Jp3vol18yvQ/s640/P1000344.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;">Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I am profoundly thankful to the Creator to still have my beautiful wife here at home with me. In the past two years, three men who live within half a mile of me suffered the loss of their wives. All three of the women who died were younger than Joy. I am also thankful to my family and friends who have supported us in our difficult time and helped in whatever way they could. </span><br />
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<span style="color: black;">Our Love to you all, </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><br />
Doug </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
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</div>Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-12531466442690817042011-11-01T20:48:00.000-07:002011-11-01T20:58:22.106-07:00A Good Visit to the DoctorFriends and Family of Joy: <br />
<br />
We saw Dr. Sanchez again today. Everything is looking good. Her incision is healing nicely and next Tuesday they will remove the sutures. Joy had another CT scan today to document the results of the downward adjustment to her shunt flow and it also looked good. Her ventricles had increased in size a little, but that was what Dr. Sanchez was hoping to see. Her infection appears to be under control and we will soon take her off the anti-biotics.<br />
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Dr. Sanchez's assistant Brenda came into the room today and asked Joy, "How are you feeling?'' Joy replied, "Okay," and nodded her head. All of us have noticed that she is talking more and responding more appropriately to verbal queries since her surgery and shunt adjustment 8 days ago. <br />
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Her angioplasty procedure will be scheduled for sometime in the next two to four weeks. After that, there will be the procedure to fill the voids in her skull plate. Dr. Sanchez believes the latter should be scheduled for sometime early next year. It depends on her health, her rate of recovery and how she responds to the angioplasty procedure.<br />
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We are making slow, but steady progress. <br />
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This weekend I will take a brief vacation and travel to San Antonio, Texas to watch my undefeated alma mater, Centre College (7-0), play the undefeated Trinity University Tigers (8-0). I played four years of football for Centre and started every game as a wide receiver. Last year I went back to the campus for the first time and attended my 40th reunion. While there I watched the Homecoming football game, which re-infected my blood with football fever. From an historical standpoint, this is the most important football game the team has played in over 50 years. (Not as important, however, as a game the team played in 1921 when they upset Harvard for the National Championship. You could look it up.) I want to be able to brag to my teammates, several of whom I still correspond with, that I was there when the Colonels knocked off their rival on their way to an undefeated season. <br />
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My Aunt Janice and her husband Courtney are putting me up in San Antonio and I look forward to seeing them. One of the first things that endeared me to Joy when I met her in 1991 was her laugh, which was almost identical to my Aunt Janice's laugh.<br />
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I am loathe to leave Joy, but I know she is in good hands with her sister Susan and our able nurses Sue, Angela, Natalie, and Misty. <br />
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Love to all of you and yours, <br />
<br />
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DougDoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-2471507348531711472011-10-24T20:35:00.000-07:002011-10-25T21:50:02.587-07:00Looking GoodDear Friends and Family of Joy:<br />
<br />
Joy's surgery appears to have been a success. The procedure was a little more problematic than I understood it to be. There was a chance that they would have had to remove a portion of her skull if it showed signs of osteomyelitis. Although tests are being performed in the lab on the plate and screws that were removed, Doctor Sanchez was in general pleased at what he found. <br />
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Joy will spend at least tonight and probably tomorrow night in the hospital. She is responsive, but needs to rest and recover. She does not appear to be in pain.<br />
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We had one of those small and subtle instances of progress on the way down to the hospital. I was driving and Joy was sitting in the front passenger seat. At one point, she reached over to the air conditioning vent in the center of the dashboard and deftly turned the knurled dial to divert the air away from blowing on her. This suggested to me that she may be recovering some of her memory and her motor skills. It was all very natural. <br />
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Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers. I'll post another update in a few days.<br />
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Love, <br />
<br />
Doug<br />
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[UPDATE, Tuesday, 10/25]: Joy is home and doing well. She's had a low grade fever off and on, but is lively, energetic and glad to be home. Tylenol should take care of the fever. We will spend the next couple of days replenishing her with the nourishment that she didn't get for nearly 24 hours. Dr. Sanchez also adjusted her shunt so that it was pumping less and will want to see her again next Tuesday to see how that is working. Joy will likely have her angioplasty procedure sometime in the next two to four weeks. We will keep you posted. .......... DougDoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-39251841729920221432011-10-23T11:11:00.000-07:002011-10-23T13:13:55.944-07:00Change In Schedule<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Friends and family of Joy: <br />
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We have had an abrupt change in plans for Joy's procedures. The angioplasty scheduled for Tuesday Oct. 25th, has been postponed. Doctor Sanchez-Mejia and Dr. Redfield, an expert in infectious diseases, determined that the metal plate that is exposed on Joy's incision line along the edge of her scalp should be removed before any more procedures are performed. That will occur tomorrow, Monday. It had been contaminated with a MRSA infection but we have been treating it for several weeks with doxycycline and the more the infection went away, the more the plate installed to fasten her skull flap has become exposed. Dr. Sanchez commented that the skin appeared to be growing back <i>under</i> the plate which is approximately a half inch wide and an inch long and attached by surgical screws. This has been a problem since at least March, although we didn't really know what it was until a month or two ago. Why it was not diagnosed correctly by the doctors at Carmel Mountain Rehab when we first began to notice in March, I don't know. <br />
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We saw Drs. Sanchez and Redfield and Dr. Sanchez's assistant Brenda on Thursday, the 20th. Here's a picture of Brenda checking Joy's vital signs:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brenda and Joy</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Brenda is a capable and caring medical professional and we feel lucky to have her working with Joy. </div><br />
Dr. Sanchez believes we can schedule the angioplasty procedure sometime in the next month. We will keep you posted on that. He told me that there have been advancements in coiling and stenting procedures since Joy had her first angioplasty procedure back in early January and that he will be able to do things for her that could not have been done then. Then there is the matter of the repair of the voids in Joy's skull. I believe it will be several months before we attempt that, but we will continue to consult with Dr. Sanchez on when the best time would be.<br />
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We missed some physical therapy dates because Joy had a low grade fever for a couple of days and Nurse Sue's new dog suffered some bite wounds from her two other dogs, which led to surgery and made Sue unavailable. But we went Friday the 21st and had a good session with Rachel. Here are two pictures from that day:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">as photogenic as ever </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">learning to rake again</td></tr>
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Joy looks lovely and healthy these days. She seems happy and contented, although occasionally she asserts her will at what seem like inopportune times for us. For example she sometimes balks at getting into the car before and/or after an appointment or outing. This can turn into a test of wills, which I think is good for her. Although she is improving, she has a long way to go in terms of recovery. In the parlance of stroke terminology, she has "deficits." Her deficits are described medically as "aphasia," "apraxia" and to a lesser extent "dysphagia." She cannot speak except in occasional phrases, she can't do most simple tasks, and while she can swallow and will eat heartily, she tends to "pocket" her food at certain times, which means she doesn't always swallow things immediately and will hold food or liquid in her mouth for half an hour or more. Her deficits are abating slowly, but it is going to be a long process. There is much she will have to re-learn. That said, her progress is frequently noticeable in small and subtle ways. <br />
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One day last week, Sue saw that a great blue heron had landed on the wall of our spa, perhaps 25 feet from our back door. (It often feeds on the small fish in our neighbor's large koi fish pond next door.) She brought Joy over to the glass door to see the creature, which is nearly four feet tall when standing perched. Joy looked at it and said slowly, "Oh my!"<br />
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I bought Joy an Ipad this week and also one for her sister Susan. The money for this came from the generosity of Joy's co-workers who way back in January donated $1650 in gift credit cards to show their appreciation and help in her recovery. I will never forget the day that Cyndy Smith, Joy's friend and associate at Pitney Bowes, first came to visit Joy at Loma Linda UMC and brought the gift with her. It came at a very difficult time and it moved me to tears. (Cyndy and I went through quite a few tissues that day.) I'm hoping the Ipads can help in Joy's recovery. There are apparently a number of applications at the Apple Store for disabled people to help in their recovery. Susan and I will be looking into them. I am very grateful to Joy's co-workers and thank them from the bottom of my heart for their generosity.<br />
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Yesterday, Joy, Susan and Sue went shopping for shoes for Joy, since the ones she usually wears are getting old. Joy loves shoes and was a fearsome and legendary shopper for them before her ordeal. Think Imelda Marcos with coupons. Yesterday, she clearly favored a pair of stitched and studded red shoes with straps. Susan swore that she could tell that Joy fell in love with the shoes and was looking at them from all angles in the mirror. So they bought them for her, even though they cost $300. If Joy--who had a rule to never buy something that wasn't on sale--had known what the shoes cost, she would have had a heart attack. The good news is that we finally got our tax refund this week after filing late this year. Here are the (quite handsome) shoes:<br />
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I will try and post a quick update after Joy's procedure on Monday. <br />
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Love to you all,<br />
<br />
Doug <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-62366250840697037202011-10-02T13:10:00.000-07:002011-10-02T20:08:14.865-07:00October 2nd, 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Just a quick post to update everyone and to post some pictures. Joy is moving ahead with her therapy at Scripps Encinitas Rehab Center. She's had four one-hour sessions of physical therapy and two one-hour sessions of occupational therapy. She's showing some dexterity. For example, she can unscrew and screw back on the cap on a tube of toothpaste. She's walking longer distances with better balance every day. Below a photo of her with her therapist Rachel putting a case on a pillow.<br />
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Rachel has been teaching Joy how to get in and out of bed more easily (and safely). She also walks Joy and they look at a series of paintings on a wall that are to Joy's right in order to expand her field of vision on that side.<br />
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Joy's angioplasty procedure to coil her slowly-growing aneurysm is scheduled for early in the morning on Tuesday, Oct. 25. The hope is that she will be able to return home that afternoon once she comes out from under anesthesia and recovers sufficiently. Then we hope she will quickly be able to resume her therapy sessions. We are in this for the long haul. <br />
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We went for a walk this morning out to the street. Here are a couple of pictures:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our brother-in-law Paul recently asked, "Did Heidi come with that ball installed?" </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">left to right: Beauty and the Beast </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> As you can see (or at least those of you who've seen me in the past two years), I've added some facial hair and some pounds. Time for that diet again. Joy's healthy cooking is sorely missed. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now here's a treat: a couple of pictures of one of our more regal neighbors in Pala. We see him twice a week on the way to rehab in Encinitas. He's over five feet tall, at least seven feet long and probably weighs between 1500 and 1800 pounds: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aM9JbF3M_TQ/Toi_l61KbnI/AAAAAAAAACs/dTadm4P2YeA/s1600/P1000277.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aM9JbF3M_TQ/Toi_l61KbnI/AAAAAAAAACs/dTadm4P2YeA/s640/P1000277.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Glad he's not a carnivore</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Thanks to everyone for your prayers, calls and cards. I'll try and post a few new pictures every week. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Doug </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span id="goog_1814886659"></span><span id="goog_1814886660"></span>Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-39149964378029783102011-09-11T10:47:00.000-07:002011-09-11T21:40:58.588-07:00A Temporary Setback<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div> "Into each life some rain must fall," wrote Longfellow and for Joy it seems that this year is her monsoon or Hurricane Katrina. We saw Dr. Sanchez on Thursday the 8th and he delivered the bad news: The MRA (magnetic resonance angiogram) performed the week before revealed that Joy's aneurysm, the one that had been coiled in early January in an angioplasty procedure, had grown in size and the growth was "not insignificant" according to Dr. Sanchez.<br />
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This was the aneurysm (one of two) that the doctors at Loma Linda had initially diagnosed as small and not an imminent threat, but Dr. Sanchez now believes it was the one that had originally bled on Dec. 21st when Joy was stricken. After they had performed her craniatomy on Dec. 23rd on the larger of the two aneurysms (the one that was clipped), it quickly became apparent to the doctors at Loma Linda that the small aneurysm was a problem, that the reason that it appeared small originally was because it was the aneurysm that had bled into her brain, and may have caused her stroke. On January 4th, a Loma Linda physician named Dr. Jacobsen performed the angioplasty coiling procedure in an attempt to fill it. That coiling attempt has now proved to be a failure, but Dr. Sanchez says that even under the best of circumstances the coiling procedures over time have a 40% failure rate. Dr. Jacobsen was the Doctor at Loma Linda that treated Susan and I with the most respect and spent time with us in front of his computer going over the charts and scans in an attempt to explain the procedure. His office has since followed up to inquire as to Joy's progress. I thank him for his efforts on Joy's behalf. <br />
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The end result is that Joy will have another angioplasty/coiling procedure at some point in the next four weeks. Dr. Sanchez will also install a stent to reinforce the coiling of the aneurysm. Although the aneurysm is deep in the back of Joy's brain and consequently difficult to treat, the procedure has only a 5% chance of complications. <br />
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It was also determined that the growth on Joy's scalp that Dr. Sanchez's assistant Brenda Mann had removed the previous week was the result of a mrsa infection and needed to be treated with antibiotics. Suspecting as much, Brenda had prescribed the proper antibiotics to treat the infection. A week later, the wound looked like it was finally healing properly to Dr. Sanchez. A mrsa infection is still a dangerous infection and will be monitored closely.<br />
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I might as well get all the bad news out at once. During her craniotomy in December, portions of Joy's skull were removed and not replaced, apparently to allow for swelling of the brain if that were to occur post-procedure. She has deep depressions at her temple and on the side of her head near her right ear that will require patching of the skull plate. Dr. Sanchez said he will consider doing that surgery after the angioplasty is performed. So there will likely be another procedure after the one now scheduled. <br />
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I have complete confidence in Dr. Sanchez's ability to successfully perform the angioplasty procedure and anything else he feels is necessary. Everyone I've spoken to about him--nurses, doctors, patients and their families--has said he is a special, talented doctor and my experience with him so far has confirmed that. Joy is in very good hands.<br />
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Dr. Sanchez did say that the angioplasty procedure could affect Joy's recovery and that she may experience some setbacks because of it. We believe that the danger of the aneurysm bursting again overrules all other considerations and that Joy is strong enough to tolerate the procedure and will resume her recovery in earnest when she is able.<br />
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Here is a picture taken on September 8th of Dr. Sanchez, Joy and Joy's nurse/therapist/neighbor Sue Thomas, who has been invaluable to us since Joy returned home in May: <br />
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Another picture of Dr. Sanchez and Joy:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Yes, we have hit a rough patch. But when I consider what befell the country and some of our fellow citizens ten years ago on this day, and what is happening to some of our neighbors in this economy, I consider us lucky. Joy's prospects for recovery are still good. Her rate of recovery so far has surprised everyone. I'm sure she will continue on that journey once we get her fully healed from procedures and reconstructions. Next Monday, we will interview and Joy will be evaluated at the Scripps Rehabiliation Center in Encinitas. I believe Joy will benefit greatly from the therapy she receives there. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I would like to thank my lifelong friends Jim and Marg Simpson for their support and wish Jim a very Happy Birthday on September 13th. Joy and I have vacationed with Jim and Marg at their place on beautiful St. Croix on a couple of occasions and always had a wonderful time. They adore Joy and have stayed in touch with us throughout our ordeal. One of my goals for us is to be able to go back to St. Croix and visit Jim and Marg. Another is to visit Gary and Lynn Jensen Nagle in Costa Rica, where we vacationed in 2007. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Here is Longfellow's poem, The Rainy Day, in its entirety: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;</div><div style="text-align: center;">It rains, and the wind is never weary;</div><div style="text-align: center;">The vine still clings to the moldering wall,</div><div style="text-align: center;">But at every gust the dead leaves fall,</div><div style="text-align: center;">And the day is dark and dreary.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;</div><div style="text-align: center;">It rains, and the wind is never weary;</div><div style="text-align: center;">My thoughts still cling to the moldering Past,</div><div style="text-align: center;">But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast</div><div style="text-align: center;">And the days are dark and dreary.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;</div><div style="text-align: center;">Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;</div><div style="text-align: center;">Thy fate is the common fate of all,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Into each life some rain must fall,</div><div style="text-align: center;">Some days must be dark and dreary.</div><br />
It's not that bad, folks! The reality is that the sun is shining here and it's a gorgeous, temperate day. Joy is out walking with her nurse Crystal and the dogs. We are blessed with good friends, a loving family, and a wonderful climate. God bless you all for your continuing concern and expressions of love and support,<br />
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Doug <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><b><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=2173221945779074131&postID=3914996437802978310" name="day"> </a></b>Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-75685987457137144122011-09-05T21:16:00.000-07:002011-09-05T22:26:14.683-07:00Labor Day, 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Joy and her team had some excitement this week. Last Monday, a fire broke out in Pala. It was caused by someone knocking down an electrical pole with their vehicle, which ignited the surrounding area. It started in the flatlands of the Reservation but quickly moved into the surrounding hills and headed north on southerly winds toward our development of Rancho Heights. It roared up the backside of Tourmaline Queen mountain, then down again and up the next ridge. Here's a picture (looking south) of the fire as it crested the Tourmaline Queen peak, about a mile south of the Rancho Heights border:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">To the right of the fire on the western slope, you can see the excavated area of the historic Tourmaline Queen mine, which is in itself an interesting story: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div>http://www.palagems.com/tourmaline_queen.htm<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The Pala Fire was complicated by the simultaneous outbreak of the Wildcat Fire roughly 25 miles away near Ramona. That fire was more of an imminent danger to homes, so some of the CalFire crew and air support were pulled off our fire to fight it. This meant inadequate air support to fight the Pala Fire which, because it was spreading and the winds were increasing on a very hot day in the mid-afternoon, led county and state officials to issue a mandatory evacuation order for Rancho Heights. The sherriff's deputies, loud speakers blaring, drove up and down through our development ordering us to leave. We live among a bunch of ruggeds up here who don't like to be issued orders and only a few people, mostly those with horses, felt it necessary to leave as requested. I was driving up to the highest ridge in Rancho Heights periodically to view the fire with binoculars and saw no imminent danger. Barring an extreme change in conditions, at the rate it was moving it would have taken at least two days to get to our house. It would also have had to burn past or through 20 or so other houses before it got to us. However, Joy's nurse Misty Kent requested she be allowed to take Joy to safety at her house nearby in Temecula and who am I to question the judgement of medical personnel? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I was reluctant to let Joy leave, because I knew that once she left she'd have a difficult time getting back in, but Misty was insistent, so I let them go. The fire was somewhat contained a few hours later, and as I predicted, people were not being let back into the area. Joy's sister Susan was refused entry after returning home from work and decided to go to Misty's house to wait it out with Joy. A few hours later Susan called after learning that they would let residents back in if they had identification to prove they were residents. At around 9 pm I met Misty and Joy down at the sheriff's roadblock and they were let back in. Here's a picture of the fire area the next morning from a slightly higher elevation:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The white stuff is the fog/marine layer that came in overnight and made it easier for the fire fighters who were mopping up. Here's closeup of what the burn area looked like: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The orange color in the foreground is from the retardant the planes dropped to stop the fire. The chaparral burns very hot. It doesn't look it, but most of the brush you see is probably 6 to 8 ft. tall and very thick. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Joy continues to improve. She's showing more signs of her old personality, which was independent and assertive. She's standing up for hours on end, and studies everything. We are taking longer and longer walks, sometimes over rough terrain. Her balance is improving, but has a way to go. We are reducing the amounts she is being fed through her feeding tube and increasing her intake of solid foods, which she really enjoys. Nurse Sue Thomas and Sister Susan have been cooking nutritious meals for her. She's communicating a little more all the time. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">On Thursday last we went to Scripps Green Hospital for tests and a visit with Dr. Sanchez's assistant Brenda, as he was away in Germany at a wedding. A piece of metal installed during her craniotomy (a staple?) has not allowed an area of her skin at her hairline to heal properly and she had developed a growth which Brenda removed. She may need some kind of corrective surgery to allow that area of her scalp to heal properly. There are also voids in her skull that Dr. Sanchez at our last visit suggested might have been left that way in case her brain started to swell after surgery. She has a very deep depression at her temple that is an area devoid of skull and potentially dangerous if she was ever hit by something there since her brain is just below the skin. He hinted we might want to do something about that. We will see Dr. Sanchez again on this coming Thursday and there will be much to discuss. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">While at the hospital, we had lunch in the cafeteria between lab tests. Sue Thomas and sister Susan were with me caring for Joy. I sat with Joy while they went through the cafeteria line. The room was crowded at lunchtime and Joy said something that sounded like, "This is like K-mart," which was interesting, since Sue Thomas had taken her into Walmart the previous week for a quick shopping spree in a motorized cart. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Misty Kent has a neighbor who analyzes and strategizes complicated surgeries for doctors and has a lot of experience with patients like Joy. He helped Misty get Joy in the car for the ride home after the fire and his opinion after observing Joy was that she has a very good chance of a significant recovery and that we should be pushing her to accomplish as much as she can. I'm hoping that Dr. Sanchez will order an evaluation for her at the Encinitas Rehabililitation Center, which specializes in the rehabilitation of neurological patients. I'd like to get her in therapy there a few times a week as an outpatient. We could really use some advice from the experts there on how best to facilitate her recovery. We've had therapists come and they've been helpful, but I think it's time for a more comprehensive program now that she is beginning to respond to commands and communicate more. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In each post I have thanked someone who has been instrumental in our path to recovery. In this post I would like to express my gratitude to Dr. Charles Smith, who saved Joy's life by intervening with the doctors at Loma Linda University Hospital and demanding that she be sent to Scripps Green where his friend and associate Dr. Rene Sanchez-Mejia could care for her. The doctors at Loma Linda had given up on Joy and were unable to alleviate her acute hydrocephalus problem. They were ready to ship her to a rest home in some backwater town where she would most certainly have died. Once Joy was at Scripps Green and recovering, Chuck offered me a room in his and his wife Pat's condo nearby so that I, like him, would not have to drive back and forth between Pala and the hospital every day. Pat also was gracious enough to drive all the way down to the rehab facility at Carmel Mountain one day with a spare set of keys for me after I had locked myself out of our car. They are very special people and I am indebted to them. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The nurses have been putting make-up and earrings on Joy and styling her hair. She looks wonderful. Here she is at rest the other day (She's been smiling a lot, but in this case she wouldn't give me a big one): </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I will try to post every two weeks or so. Thanks to everyone who continues to show their love and affection for Joy. We feel it every day. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">God Bless, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Doug </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-76084749267728002762011-08-16T09:45:00.000-07:002011-08-17T17:57:30.334-07:00Happy Birthday to Joy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>On Saturday, August 13th, friends in the neighborhood of Rancho Heights came to our house to celebrate Joy's 59th birthday. In attendance were Susan Thomas, her sister Mary Anne Schetter and her brother, John Kilker; Joy's sister Susan Fowler and her husband Paul Polena; Chuck and Pat Smith, James and Cori Szepkouski, Ron and Cherrie Steffey, and Dave and Donna Wilbur. Susan Thomas, who is Joy's nurse and therapist, and her sister Mary Anne catered the affair and the food was perfectly delicious and diet-busting. Joy's sister Susan baked a tasty chocolate short cake with strawberries and whipped cream for the birthday cake. Our good friends, Jonathan and Jan Geller and Craig and Jackie Hill, who've been very close to Joy and me since the beginning of her crisis, were out of town and unable to make it. We missed them. Below two pictures of the assembled guests: <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chuck and Pat Smith standing in the center</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Birthday girl is on the right.<br />
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</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Joy tasted bits from the wide variety of foods. Because she had her favorite blouse on and because she wasn't sitting at the table, I fed her from her plate. At one point while I was feeding her, she calmly reached over to the side table, picked up my glass of white wine, took a sip and put the glass back on the table. This elicited applause from the guests who witnessed it. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Joy shares her birthday on August 13th with my good, generous and loyal friend Gary Nagle, who I've known for nearly 50 years now, having mis-spent our youth together. Happy Birthday to Gary down in Costa Rica! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We also heard from Joy's friends from around the world. In particular a lovely card was sent by Colin and Linda Carr, who now live on the coast of Spain. (They also called all the way from Spain, but unfortunately we were out at the time.) Joy knew Colin from working with him all those years ago with the Royal Mail. Colin and Linda have kept in touch with us and came for a visit here a few years ago. Linda makes exquisite hand made cards and she put together a spectacular one for Joy's birthday. Here's the image:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V2dJyw0RzjU/TkqcCXBbJmI/AAAAAAAAABo/JBDyutZ9ju4/s1600/P1000183.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V2dJyw0RzjU/TkqcCXBbJmI/AAAAAAAAABo/JBDyutZ9ju4/s400/P1000183.jpg" width="375" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's hard to see from the photo, but the image is layered and has a 3D effect in your hand. Linda also included an original poem in the card: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Count your garden by the flowers,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Never by the leaves that fall, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Count your days by golden hours,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Don't remember clouds at all.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Count your nights by stars not shadows, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Count your years with smiles not tears.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Count your blessings not your troubles, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Count your age by friends not years. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And that about says it all. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">God bless you all, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Doug </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span id="goog_1014437129"></span><span id="goog_1014437130"></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2173221945779074131.post-5172096956376868272011-08-06T12:52:00.000-07:002011-08-06T21:41:53.712-07:00August 6<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Hello, friends and family of Joy: <br />
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Joy continues to improve. I apologize for not posting earlier, but we've been busy. Joy went to see Dr. Sanchez-Mejia on July 26th at his office at Scripps Green Hospital near La Jolla. He had not seen her since April 22nd. She had an MRI and then we went up to see the doctor. We wheeled her wheelchair down the hallway to his office and then helped her stand up and walk inside. Dr. Sanchez said, "I'm shocked to see her walking like that. She has made amazing progress." Later he said that when he released her from Scripps Green on March 1st that he didn't really know but wasn't optimistic that she would have a significant recovery. He said, "Now I'm more optimistic." At that time he told me that we would have some idea of what her recovery might be like in three to six months. We are now five months out from that time and Joy is impressing everyone including her nurses, therapists and friends with the rate of her recovery.<br />
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The trip down to Scripps-Green was not all smooth. Joy got carsick as we entered the parking lot and then again when we arrived back in Temecula. She tends to focus intently on small things, e.g. the cup holder in our Toyota, which probably had the similar effect of trying to read a book in a moving car. It's an hour drive and she made it for 55 minutes both ways before she got sick. We'll stop for a break part way to our destination next time. <br />
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She has begun to eat more solid food. She's eaten hamburger, ground turkey, corn, beans, omellettes, egg salad, fruits, vegetables, soufles, pasta and cookies in small quantities. We had been told by most professionals that she shouldn't be eating until a swallow test is performed, but we've proceeded ahead anyway, with Dr. Sanchez's blessing. We've reduced her canned liquid food intake down to five cans a day from seven and half. She still has a tendency to hold liquids in her mouth and not swallow them, but she always seems eager to chew and swallow solid foods. <br />
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On Wednesday, Joy's nurse Sue Thomas, who has been wonderful for Joy and acts as much as a full-time therapist as a nurse, took Joy to the movies and out to lunch. They went to see the animated feature "Rio," about a blue Macaw. Afterward they went to lunch at Chick Filet. Joy slept a little during the movie, but Sue said she smiled through most of it. Joy needs assistance when she walks but can walk for ten minutes or so at a time and stand for even longer periods than that. Lately she's been puttering around the kitchen opening drawers, cabinets and the refrigerator, seemingly to re-acquaint herself. (We keep her away from the knife drawer.) I hope some day she will recover enough to be the superb cook that she was. <br />
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Yesterday, Joy's good friends from Pitney Bowes, Cyndy Smith and Georgia Schweitzer, came for a visit. Joy laughed heartily for the first time. She's smiled a lot before, but yesterday she laughed a couple of times with her full frame. Cyndy had cooked some excellent chicken and made her world-famous potato salad, which Joy (and everyone) loved. We all had a fun time. Here's a picture of the Pitney Bowes gals and sister Susan on the back porch (from left: Georgia, Cyndy, Joy and Susan):<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TM4ftfzhIRA/Tj2ItkcJniI/AAAAAAAAABE/r5kGuOQSO5M/s1600/P1000148.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TM4ftfzhIRA/Tj2ItkcJniI/AAAAAAAAABE/r5kGuOQSO5M/s640/P1000148.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
In each of these posts I want to thank someone who has helped Joy and me through this ordeal and no one has done that more lovingly than Joy's sister Susan Fowler. We went through the very difficult early days together and Susan never once flinched. While Joy was in Loma Linda, Scripps Green and Carmel Mountain she visited regularly several times a week. She and her husband Paul Polena took care of our dogs Heidi and Jax when I was spending nights at the motel in Loma Linda and at Chuck and Pat Smith's condo down near La Jolla. She helped me make some sense of our financial affairs, which was something Joy handled for the most part in her own inimitable way and which took some deciphering and wading through four jam-packed filing cabinets to find the proper documents on several occasions. Thank you, Susan.<br />
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I'd also like to thank Cyndy Smith, who was with Joy when she was stricken, went with her to the emergency room, and who has visited her in each of the hospitals/facilities that she's been in. She's been a true and loyal friend. <br />
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Speaking of Heidi and Jax (aka Lucy and Desi), here they are:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XpQJVGiRcMo/Tj2MM2keZXI/AAAAAAAAABI/vwJfmsH9mxo/s1600/P1000129.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XpQJVGiRcMo/Tj2MM2keZXI/AAAAAAAAABI/vwJfmsH9mxo/s640/P1000129.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
Heidi's job is to retrieve the tennis ball, and Jax, who has no interest in retrieving but does love to kill small animals, feels it is his duty to harass her while she is retrieving. Jax had rattlesnake avoidance training a few months back and recently cornered one in our pool equipment shed without getting bit. I dispatched that one with my shotgun. I've had to kill at least a dozen over the past 4 years or so. I hate killing them, but if one bites one of the dogs, the vet bill will be over a thousand dollars, even if they don't survive. If they are inside our fences, I have to eliminate them. <br />
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Joy is interacting with the dogs much more now, petting them and watching them play. When she first got home, they moved too fast for her to even see them. Now they come up and lick her hand and face on occasion and she looks at them in wonderment and pets them before they are on their way again. Heidi has a habit of dropping her slimy tennis ball in Joy's lap, which I interpret as a sign of optimism on her part. Eventually, Joy will throw the ball for her and Heidi seems to know it. <br />
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Joy is still not communicating very well, although she does seem to follow conversations and reacts to things that are said. She can't speak in fully formed sentences, but does try at times. Occasionally she says an appropriate word or phrase during a conversation. She is still much like an infant with a fascination for all things that she can pick up and hold in her hand. She will study them for long periods of time. Her curiosity is boundless.<br />
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Her recovery will be a long one, and we are all hoping it will be a significant one. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I will try and write another post in a few weeks. <br />
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DougDoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13052934038269806023noreply@blogger.com1