Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Happy Birthday to Joy

On Saturday, August 13th, friends in the neighborhood of Rancho Heights came to our house to celebrate Joy's 59th birthday.  In attendance were Susan Thomas, her sister Mary Anne Schetter and her brother, John Kilker;  Joy's sister Susan Fowler and her husband Paul Polena; Chuck and Pat Smith,  James and Cori Szepkouski, Ron and Cherrie Steffey, and Dave and Donna Wilbur.  Susan Thomas, who is Joy's nurse and therapist, and her sister Mary Anne catered the affair and the food was perfectly delicious and diet-busting.  Joy's sister Susan baked a tasty chocolate short cake with strawberries and whipped cream for the birthday cake.   Our good friends, Jonathan and Jan Geller and Craig and Jackie Hill, who've been very close to Joy and me since the beginning of her crisis, were out of town and unable to make it.  We missed them. Below two  pictures of the assembled guests:

 
Chuck and Pat Smith standing in the center



The Birthday girl is on the right.

Joy tasted bits from the wide variety of foods. Because she had her favorite blouse on and because she wasn't sitting at the table, I fed her from her plate.   At one point while I was feeding her, she calmly reached over to the side table, picked up my glass of white wine, took a sip and put the glass back on the table.  This elicited applause from the guests who witnessed it. 

Joy shares her birthday on August 13th with my good, generous and loyal friend Gary Nagle, who I've known for nearly 50 years now, having mis-spent our youth together.  Happy Birthday to Gary down in Costa Rica! 
 
We also heard from Joy's friends from around the world.  In particular a lovely card was sent by Colin and Linda Carr, who now live on the coast of Spain. (They also called all the way from Spain, but unfortunately we were out at the time.)  Joy knew Colin from working with him all those years ago with the Royal Mail. Colin and Linda have kept in touch with us and came for a visit here a few years ago. Linda makes exquisite hand made cards and she put together a spectacular one for Joy's birthday.  Here's the image:


It's hard to see from the photo, but the image is layered and has a 3D effect in your hand.  Linda also included an original poem in the card: 
        
Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall, 
Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all.
Count your nights by stars not shadows, 
Count your years with smiles not tears.
Count your blessings not your troubles, 
Count your age by friends not years. 

And that about says it all. 



God bless you all,  
Doug 


Saturday, August 6, 2011

August 6

Hello, friends and family of Joy: 

Joy continues to improve.  I apologize for not posting earlier, but we've been busy.  Joy went to see Dr. Sanchez-Mejia on July 26th at his office at Scripps Green Hospital near La Jolla.  He had not seen her since April 22nd.  She had an MRI and then we went up to see the doctor.  We wheeled her wheelchair down the hallway to his office and then helped her stand up and walk inside.  Dr. Sanchez said, "I'm shocked to see her walking like that.  She has made amazing progress."  Later he said that when he released her from Scripps Green on March 1st that he didn't really know but wasn't optimistic that she would have a significant recovery.  He said, "Now I'm more optimistic."  At that time he told me that we would have some idea of what her recovery might be like in three to six months.  We are now five months out from that time and Joy is impressing everyone including her nurses, therapists and friends with the rate of her recovery.

The trip down to Scripps-Green was not all smooth.  Joy got carsick as we entered the parking lot and then again when we arrived back in Temecula.  She tends to focus intently on small things, e.g. the cup holder in our Toyota, which probably had the similar effect of trying to read a book in a moving car.   It's an hour drive and she made it for 55 minutes both ways before she got sick.  We'll stop for a break part way to our destination next time. 

She has begun to eat more solid food.  She's eaten hamburger, ground turkey, corn, beans, omellettes, egg salad, fruits, vegetables, soufles, pasta  and cookies in small quantities.  We had been told by most professionals that she shouldn't be eating until a swallow test is performed, but we've proceeded ahead anyway, with Dr. Sanchez's blessing.  We've reduced her canned liquid food intake down to five cans a day from seven and half.  She still has a tendency to hold liquids in her mouth and not swallow them, but she always seems eager to chew and swallow solid foods.

On Wednesday, Joy's nurse Sue Thomas, who has been wonderful for Joy and acts as much as a full-time therapist as a nurse, took Joy to the movies and out to lunch.  They went to  see the animated feature "Rio," about a blue Macaw.  Afterward they went to lunch at Chick Filet.  Joy slept a little during the movie, but Sue said she smiled through most of it.  Joy needs assistance when she walks but can walk for ten minutes or so at a time and stand for even longer periods than that.  Lately she's been puttering around the kitchen  opening drawers, cabinets and the refrigerator,  seemingly to re-acquaint herself. (We keep her away from the knife drawer.)   I hope some day she will recover enough to be the superb cook that she was. 

Yesterday, Joy's good friends from Pitney Bowes, Cyndy Smith and Georgia Schweitzer, came for a visit.  Joy laughed heartily for the first time.  She's smiled a lot before, but yesterday she laughed a couple of times with her full frame.  Cyndy had cooked some excellent chicken and made her world-famous potato salad, which Joy (and everyone) loved.  We all had a fun time.  Here's a picture of the Pitney Bowes gals and sister Susan on the back porch (from left: Georgia, Cyndy, Joy and Susan):

In each of these posts I want to thank someone who has helped Joy and me through this ordeal and no one has done that more lovingly than Joy's sister Susan Fowler.  We went through the very difficult early days together and Susan never once flinched.  While Joy was in Loma Linda, Scripps Green and Carmel Mountain she visited regularly several times a week.  She and her husband Paul Polena took care of our dogs Heidi and Jax when I was spending nights at the motel in Loma Linda and at Chuck and Pat Smith's condo down near La Jolla.  She helped me make some sense of our financial affairs, which was something Joy handled for the most part in her own inimitable way and which took some deciphering and wading through four jam-packed filing cabinets to find the proper documents on several occasions.  Thank you, Susan.

I'd also like to thank Cyndy Smith, who was with Joy when she was stricken, went with her to the emergency room, and who has visited her in each of the hospitals/facilities that she's been in.  She's been a true and loyal friend.  

Speaking of Heidi and Jax (aka Lucy and Desi), here they are:


Heidi's job is to retrieve the tennis ball, and Jax, who has no interest in retrieving but does love to kill small animals, feels it is his duty to harass her while she is retrieving. Jax had rattlesnake avoidance training a few months back and recently cornered one in our pool equipment shed without getting bit.  I dispatched that one with my shotgun.  I've had to kill at least a dozen over the past 4 years or so.  I hate killing them, but if one bites one of the dogs, the vet bill will be over a thousand dollars, even if they don't survive. If they are inside our fences, I have to eliminate them.

Joy is interacting with the dogs much more now, petting them and watching them play.  When she first got home, they moved too fast for her to even see them.  Now they come up and lick her hand and face on occasion and she looks at them in wonderment and pets them before they are on their way again.  Heidi has a habit of dropping her slimy tennis ball in Joy's lap, which I interpret as a sign of optimism on her part.  Eventually, Joy will throw the ball for her and Heidi seems to know it. 

Joy is still not communicating very well, although she does seem to follow conversations and reacts to things that are said.  She can't speak in fully formed sentences, but does try at times.  Occasionally she says an appropriate word or phrase during a conversation.  She is still much like an infant with a fascination for all things that she can pick up and hold in her hand.  She will study them for long periods of time.  Her curiosity is boundless.

Her recovery will be a long one, and we are all hoping it will be a significant one.  Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.  I will try and write another post in a few weeks. 

Doug